Cookies

All I can think about is cookies.

I've been a cookie fiend my whole life. 

I'm just so in love with them. The idea of a cookie is so brilliant. All small and perfect.

I've been without a cookie for quite sometime. But over the weekend I saw some Keebler cookies with m&ms and some Chessmen cookies. GAME OVER. I ate them all.

Now what? 

All I can think about is cookies. I'm debating right this second whether or not to run to the store to get lemon cookies. I'm having a hard time. 

Because I don't want to be fat and have gross fat legs and fat fat fat. But, god cookies are so damn good. 

Brb. Gotta go get lemon cookies.

topless & barefoot

i want to float in dark cool waters just like that.
i want to bask in the sun just like that.
i want to drift in clear bright blue waters just like that.
i want to melt onto cool soft sheets with the fan swirling just like that.
i want to drape myself over the edge just like that

i want to feel

just like that

i feel rare

soul

travel

energy

tolerance

the essence

absolute value

summum bonum

experiencing reality

mathematical thought

intuitive understanding

detachment from illusion

discovery of an arrangement

way beyond conscious control

natural capacity of intellect

observable phenomenons

laugh to relax the mind

wisdom of a daily life

innovative creation

essence of desire

enlightenment

interpersonal

own actions

surviving

virtue

free

i feel compelled

i want(need) someone to come steal me.

i've had about enough. 

electric

I went to San Francisco again this past weekend. I hadn't been since January when I had a Gatsby style weekend with my girl friend Erin. Dang we had fun. If I could do that weekend over again, I would do two things differently: 1. I would have worn sequin tops. 2. Put more flowers on the deck.

I'll have to let her know about my revisions and see if she's down to do it all over again. We even got Cafe XO breakfast delivered to us in bed by PostMates. 

But this most recent weekend was of course a whole other arena of fun. Since, World Cup is on. I strolled into town at some point, after staying the night in Sacramento with Jackie. Jackie and I went and got some Mexican food and had blackberry margaritas. And by that I mean it was practically just tequila with a giant blackberry floating in it. WHOA, whew that was strong. Then we went to get a glass of wine. We sat outside and I probably cussed too loudly and other people probably noticed. I have bad habits. Whatever. It was a lovely evening out with my girl! Oh yeah, but San Francisco. 

I met up with Zach and we drank while watching the game. Afterward we went to Sutro Bath ruins. It is SUCH a weird place. jeeeeesus. It's really so strange. He let me take his photo there. 

I went to dinner with Meg & Adrienne and we had a lovely meal. Then we went back to her place and drank a little bit and enjoyed ourselves. I love them.

then Meg & I went "home" and crashed early. Giggled for a bit in the dark, of course. As we girls do. About how we are grandmas, going to bed early on a Saturday. How we've done that pretty much every single time. And how we don't care because we like sleep WAY more than anything else the night may have to offer in the city. She's a great friend.

Woke up, went and got myself from of my favorite breakfast from Cafe XO. I don't even know why I like it so much. It just tastes good. It reminds me of Kate and Tim. We were the best team ever. I miss them. I watched the Mexico v Holland game. Mexico lost, of course. All the teams I root for lose. So strange. Then I sat on the back deck with Meg and got a really weird tan line. I watched her eat her salad that had flowers in it. I had to take a photo when it was on the counter before she ate it.

Then I went and hung out with Zach again! He's sorta the best. He laughs at my bad jokes. We went and watched Costa Rica v Greece at this cool food park thing. He told me what it was called, and I don't remember. Its basically a bunch of food carts surrounding TVs and seating. He snagged us some prime seats inside a big gazebo and we watched the game unfold. Naturally, the team I was rooting for lost. Blah blah... But it was so fun anyway. Then we had time to kill, so we watched the Lego movie. HAHA. It was so ridiculous. We watched the entire thing. Ordered pizza. Headed out to go support our friend Connor who is in the hospital trying to combat a pretty nasty case of pneumonia. The worst. I worry about him. He'll be okay. Sad. 

Then it was time for me to hit the ol' dusty trail.... Headed back up the hill to my safe perch. Overlooking everything and viewing it all from a safe distance. I love it up here but I would rather be in San Francisco right now. Probably because I had so much fun, I just wanna keep having more fun. I guess Zach just gets it. 

My fat cat Anouk is waiting for me to go to bed. I'm almost done. 

I want to know where to find wild blueberries? How do I not know? I love blueberries. I just inhaled probably way too many just now. I couldn't stop. I'll add that to my list of things to do. 

- Find wild blueberries

- Eat wild blueberries

- Be satisfied

I also really need this happy blueberry thing:

crappy day

I used to get inspired by the internet so well, years ago. I had folders of folders of strange photos and odd words. I still have many of them. I used to type in words on google and scan through the images. People would ask me where I found these things, I didn't actually know. I just browsed enough. But my system of browsing has become overrun and old news. Strange how your strange skills and hobbies seem to fade as years pass. 

oh well, what can you do? make lists. 

go to bed early. listen to some music that includes a banjo. curl up in a pile of blankets. think about seaweed and rice. think about some good books. ponder the movie "homeward bound". what happened to all my chapsticks? remember roux. look at the strange things you've collected in life. decide on breakfast. turn on that salt lamp. its okay to eat pasta. you have too many suitcases and bags. listen for the coyotes at night. be done.

you know, i'm easy to please

"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate's purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit and show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life." - Elizabeth Gilbert.