hopi

yeah so i'm going out of my mind with the yearning of wanting to be in utah on the 27th of march to attend Hopi - festival of colors. but i probably wont get to go . and i'll probably start my decline into a bad mood for several months because of it. i'm already in a bad mood because all i want to do is travel and i never want to be in california because there is nothing i WANT to be doing here. my life is annoying me. it doesn't help that i recently got a speeding ticket in nevada on my way back home. i'm scared out of my mind to tell me dad about it because i know he'll probably just kick me off the insurance and i'll be left on my ass to pay some ridiculous amount of money to insure my stupid car and my stupid decisions. its not my fault i wanted to get the hell out of nevada and away from IT. the cop should have sentenced me to jail instead, that would have been warmly welcomed by me instead of this death sentence of a ticket. i could be over reacting but i doubt it.

i haven't been blogging much because no one ever comes to read it. i don't want you reading my blog if you aren't even going to say hi or something. i like to know when people are reading what i say. i could go write on paper if i didn't want anyone to say something. but i do. because i like feedback and discussions. i'm bitter right now, sorry.

i think in a bit i'm going to drive over to the little market to pick up a pint of icecream and some twix. i need something to satisfy me. i asked sam to call tonight but he probably won't. i slept for 11 1/2 hours last night. i'll go to sleep soon. after my icecream and twix. and i'll start to read my book again. i haven't read it for about two weeks.