my favorite shape

i kind of fell out of the blog writing groove

i used to be kinda okay at it

and now whenever i get on here im like, 

well shit. what am i supposed to say? 

i guess i'll just ramble on about random junk and hope that captures your attention.

ive been painting my nails dark lately. black is my new favorite. 

i've also started a new book written by Queen Noor... she is such a badass. i need to read about Rania next. 

i am so captivated by real life princesses & queens. 

i seriously day dream about being a queen. 

i mean. i AM a queen.

im the queen of everything. 

my name "cassandra" loosely translates into "queen of everything" in arabic. 

which is perfect since i am also obsessed with arabic culture.

okay but really. thats just urban dictionary. 

they told me that.

but who am i to disagree? 

it sounds legit to me ... 

i think i'll buy a tiara. 

i love a good pen. 

i just recently stole a pen that writes pink. 

i never need to write anything tho. maybe if i would attend college again i would have a reason to write

but college sounds so.... 

FUCK. 

you know? 

i dont know if i can handle that kind of stress again. 

it did give me an ulcer once upon a time. that was painful and really sucked. 

plus i dont know what i want to do anymore. i thought i knew . a long time ago. 

i have my bachelors in alternative systems of medicine. but i dont use it . nor do i care to 

i want to work with kids. and be the boss. 

and i also want to be fabulous.

i have such good priorities. 

i blame it on social media. 

i wish i had better discipline. 

ive seriously said that a million times

i dont know how im supposed to control my bullshit 

when i override myself all the time. 

cassie dont eat that

screw it, dont eat it next time

have all you want right now

then i hate myself afterward

im such an asshole. 

i mean common

youre 24 this year and you eat like youre a 7 year old. 

you cant eat cookies and bullshit and act like it doesnt affect you 

youre getting ugly. people are starting to notice 

if you actually put a box of chocolate chip cookies in front of me 

I WILL DESTROY THEM. 

i am freaking out right now just talking about them. 

carrots. 

damn it. 

well i guess i should go now

i need to go find a snack.

something that wont add to the mass i have clinging desperately to my bones. 

shiiiiiiit. im such a girl right now. 

dont tell me to eat celery. 

i hate the stuff. 

oh yeah, anyone can comment my blog

you dont need an account to do it

so tell me a chocolate chip cookie i can eat with out feeling guilty.

please. 

im just sayin .

______________________

all i want

is a guy with a beard who likes to travel 

and who loves me like nothing else

and a motorcycle 

and some cookies

to see roux one more time 

an anklet 

& to travel around the entire united states 

one day. 

i gotta start learning how to be positive

can someone teach me/? 

probably can't be taught. 

im just not happy lately. 

its hard. 

nothing is going right for me

so its hard to be "positive" or whatever... 

when its a giant mix of things that just suck. 

i need help. 

as in 

a pina colada 

a salmon meal

& a new pair of jeffery campbell heels 

and a hottub

heres to a change of attitude and 

hopefully better luck  - 

oh hey there...

i went to mexico for two weeks

that was awesome. it was crazy beautiful and surreal. 

i was there? what? 

i still cant believe it. 

these are my two best pals from the trip , my car mates , my bunk buddies & the two funniest people ive met in a long long time ... wes & jen. i miss them terribly. oh how i hate distance... well... no... i dont hate distance... i hate not being able to jump across it whenever i want. 

i miss everyone from my trip. they were all my family. love them. 

i swam with sea lions

had dolphins swimming under and around my boat 

saw whale sharks under my boat. a swordfish. flying manta rays. 

dove for clams and ate them. ate raw scallops from the bottom of the sea of cortez

had gangs of bullseye pufferfish following me at all times whenever i went in 

bird watched the most incredible species

slept on cots on the beach underneath hundreds of stars every night

got a mean tan 

and didnt break any of my nails 

so all in all... amazing trip. wanna see photos? OKAY SURE! 

thats just some. i am still waiting for the other photos to surface from other peoples cameras. 

my soul grew larger from being in mexico. 

its a great place. 

so yeah

. i'll leave you with that. 

ops!

ive been so bad at writing!
i keep getting asked when ill be updating  new post
and i keep saying "soon" and "soon" never rolls around...
so finally im just making myself do it.
i have had SO much going on.


i have so much music i want to share
but i cant find it all to post . its all in that "new" stage.
so i'll give you this to start:

had a weekend long ladies adventure with my girls

here we are at VEX in our vip booth. 

jackie, alyssa, jenelle, jessica, me, chelsea & sara. 

so much fun. so much fun in fact, that i cant remember it.

all i remember is i slept in the bathtub. 

and it was comfortable .

went swimming the following weekend with the cutest baby ..

Jeffy! him & i are best friends now. love him forever 

here we are. look at him. just look

hes so precious i adore him.

he sees me and goes "hi cassie!"

with a big ol grin on his face. 

sweetest thing

jason diving on command . 

such funny shots

awesome

audra & her boy jason. 

i am SO glad that they were game to do this for me!

i am so pleased with how perfect they look . 

i love my lifeproof case for my iphone.

baby jeffy. 

sweetest sight i ever saw. 

i made him dive over and over again 

maybe 17 times. 

and he was game. 

thanks for being a MFing athlete jason! 

you make me feel like a fat dump! hahahaha

then i went to brewfest. 

but i lost my ID so i was illegal the entire time

lucky for me, 

i know people who give me alcohol with out needing to see my ID 

because its obvious im 23 almost 24. right? 

RIGHT? 

i wish i looked my age and not 12. 

but see here? there i am drinking Trout Slayer

and Jackie , see her? shes drinking Jamaican Red.

then i went to tahoe for the 4th of july

and here is me and my hair

on west shore (thebestshore) 

it was an amazing 4th

i dont feel like posting photos from that day

because i took a ton. and it would be too hard to narrow it down

so this is the only one im posting

its great , at least

and then i went BACK to tahoe 

and did some amateur fire dancing

and its my new aspiration. 

i think i will take it up when i get back from mexico

i hope i have satisfied all my readers

whoever you are

i dont even know if i have "readers" 

it seems like i just write to thin air

follow me on instagram , i post more there

because its easy. :: casstaway :: 

i'll try to write more . 

i say that everytime 

but i really mean it. 

i wanted to be a mermaid...

nymph

mermaid

goddess

audra and i had a little fun with my iphone on saturday.... underwater fun. i am pretty pleased. 

here are some other ones ... its hard to narrow down my favorites. but we plan on taking more creative ones this summer, and even today. i need to find a good website to put all my photography. tumblr.. i guess. i'll work on getting one started and let you guys know when its up. 

we are gonna keep having fun. 

the world around me

when i look back on things i have taken photos of sometimes i am confused as to how i got that photo. luck i guess. i get really lucky with photos. thats one of the only things i get lucky with it seems. i always seem to be in the right place at the right time. and i need to share my photos more often. because i never know if they will be lost forever. 

today i am in another daze. nothing seems real and i feel like it is maybe 4 years in the past. my dreams keep convincing me that it is a different time. i dont know what to do with myself and i keep feeling stress, confusion, pressure and guilt creep around the corners and start to over whelm me again. 

i always thought i didn't get stressed. i mean, i dont. i dont really know why i can feel it now. i've never cared too much about anything entirely. except the things i dream about. time is moving slower for me today. for the first time in a year i think, or maybe even longer. but i cant remember my past too well anymore. 

maybe now i can lay in the grass and watch clouds. and do those simple weird things that people are able to do. go on a walk. i dont know. obviously i dont know, and didnt know. other wise i wouldnt be here now. i hope i can figure it out. i still feel empty. 

yellowstone / jackson hole

how silly we are. walking on this wooden boardwalk gazing into this mesmerizing hot springs & geysers . so fascinating & mysterious to us. walking with out protection against these erie forces of the earth. on this wooden board walk ... thinking it makes us safe. when at any given moment a new geyser could erupt right under you. boiling you to infinity.

yet we mosey along thinking we are safe because of this wooden path, that weaves us in and around and about these spectacular natural beauties.

such a mysterious place . erie & thought provoking. all of this glory & wonder. these unique THINGS. pools of mineral water boiling from the earth. flowing constantly. always alive with activity from deep underground. we walk around in awe gazing into these wondrous creations , when right beneath our feet a super volcano is brewing, active but not active enough to explode with force over this earth. its amazing to wrap your mind around. the differences in color, shape, force & flow of each pool & geyser is fascinating. not one the same.

the smell is a putrid, repugnant smell. yet it lures you in and makes you take a deep breath. you can't decide whether its awful or refreshing. the mixture of heat, water & minerals from deep with in the earth ... when the wind blows over the pools and pushes the steam and smell onto your body you get the chills. your body doesn't know what to feel. cold? hot? goosebumps and heat waves all at once. the changes in temperature are so quick that you don't have time to adjust. you just stand there ... letting the breeze flow over you . eyes closed , arms out , hair flowing, mind removed. nothing else matters ... just that feeling , that smell, that sight.

the colors and movements of each pool is enchanting. i want to mimic each one into my own personal spa. i want to reach out and dip my finger into them. the soft touch of pure mineral water. the layers chroma fanning out over the area making unique rainbows. the constant changes and flow leave it different every second. you will never fixate on the same thing ever again.

the pictures taken never seem to portray the right vision your own eyes witness. the beauty and intensity of each sight is beyond explanation. they are the only way to remember what you saw. because your memories almost don't suffice. it was so much to take in that your mind blurs each sight together ..... the mist, the movement, the smell, the energy. makes you feel peaceful and removed. its incredible to be able to see something that has the potential to completely annihilate the world.

grand prismatic

chromatic spring

midway geyser basin

old faithful