im just sayin .

______________________

all i want

is a guy with a beard who likes to travel 

and who loves me like nothing else

and a motorcycle 

and some cookies

to see roux one more time 

an anklet 

& to travel around the entire united states 

one day. 

i gotta start learning how to be positive

can someone teach me/? 

probably can't be taught. 

im just not happy lately. 

its hard. 

nothing is going right for me

so its hard to be "positive" or whatever... 

when its a giant mix of things that just suck. 

i need help. 

as in 

a pina colada 

a salmon meal

& a new pair of jeffery campbell heels 

and a hottub

heres to a change of attitude and 

hopefully better luck  - 

i guess that crystals are beneath me...

seriously loosing my mind again.
i dont really even know what im looking for or expecting.

i just want what i want.
its that simple.
i want to travel. i want to live in hawaii. i want to learn spanish.
and french. i want to loose weight. i want longer hair. i want friends.
i want to sell everything. i want to watch movies. i want go to sleep.


but for some reason , all of the above... seems impossible.

traveling? HAHA. sure cassie. with what money and what time?

hawaii? yeah okay. see above

spanish? french? when the hell do you think you'll have time to learn it, let alone REMEMBER IT.

loose weight? yeah then stop eating. what? jesus christ.

longer hair. unattainable. ive been trying. and its not getting long like it used to be

friends? how can i have friends when everyone in this god for saken town is set on hating me and excluding me and ignoring me ? i dont get what i did. i just dont understand anything.

sell everything.. who wants junk? anyone? anyone? bueller?

watch movies. time? whats that?

sleep? you have too much to do. but what do you have to show for it?



someone please help me.
or wait dont.
everyone who tries to help me wants something in return. or something. i dont know.
maybe just leave me alone and stop being mean to me.


NOTHING ELSE MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS THIS
SO I WILL CONTINUE ON MY MISSION WITH THE RISK, TO BE FREE.