oh man

just decorated our big tree with what seems to be about a billion vintage ornaments. and even tho it looks super pretty, just the thought of putting all of this christmas decor away ........ OH MAN. i am hoping to donate half of the decor (not the ornaments) after this year. for real. i love christmas but gollllllllllllly its a lot of work.\

i am pooped.

this week was busy at work. and at home.

my mind is going a million miles an hour all the time. i dont have time to think about stupid things really. sometimes i wish i did. wish i could breath and stop for lunch.......""

its 10:41 already / ? it seems earlier. but im so tired. i guess i should go to sleep.

i dont like it when im missing people.

and when i cant see them. such a strange sort of unachievable longing.

i try to push it aside.

i totally scored at the thrift stores today.

i dont even know why i try shopping at actual shops. because the thrift stores pretty much suit me way better. and i look awesome. i'll have to start taking more photos of my self and my clothes. but wow that sounds like a lot of time and effort that i just dont seem to have .

sooooooooo a couple weeks ago i accidentally tore the life out of my Gstar jeans.... it was a terrible tragedy & i cried. i thought i couldnt get them fixed and so i was very discouraged. but , low & behold.... they have been repaired by the best seamstress in town. HOORAY! cassie wins one!

i should be keeping score of how many times i win.

today i won twice, that i can remember.

i got a cotton branch with real tufts of cotton on it.

its beautiful.

next time i get a boyfriend i hope he knows that i would much rather prefer dried branches of cotton or something odd & unique rather than run of the mill flowers from a grocery store. and i also hope he doesnt read this , because that would be cheating. i might have to delete this entire post if i ever start having time for guys again. which i dont see happening anytime soon. my mind cant be wasted upon some selfish, cruel, fake man again. i have to be more careful. which means i need to be more educated. so that will take some time because im not about to let it happen again. caution........ right?

i dont blog anymore.

i just dont know what to say

i feel like i am being boring and saying stuff no one wants to read about.

my snowboard is for sale,

ive never used it in my life

and i would love if someone bought it.

email me if you want info.

casstaway@gmail.com

im tired.

bye

painted my nails gold.

painted my toes gold too.

i never paint my toes.

but it looks really cute.

got a new opal pinky ring that i am really loving.

wanting to move back to utah real soon

wanting a new car , but cant have what i want.

expensive taste , so im told...

bikinis cost a lot but i need a new one.

i need new summer clothes. i hate shopping.

i have a pretty good tan so far .

i tan so easily.

i need to work out more.

i wonder what life has in store for me.

i wish i had a way of knowing which way to go.

looking for inspiration

i wonder how people find their "muse". or just their inspiration. how do you even inspire thoughts from every day things? i mean i know how you do, but how do you transform things differently to make them into something almost surreal? with out it being over the top or just plain ridiculous? think about it. people are creative. but i wonder where they really get it from. do their minds really just spit out clever ideas on a whim ? or do they find it someplace else? they'd never tell. no one tells their sources. mitch has a quote he likes and its "the secret to being successful is knowing how to hide your sources" . which is true. whether it be an actual source you are deriving your outcomes from or whether its your own mind - with infinite sources and combinations and ideas that are molded together inside the hidden places in your brain. its pretty wondrous to think about. i have been doing a lot of thinking today - not even sure if its considered creative.

just trying to think of clever, catching, captivating & clear ways to present an item to the world. its pretty difficult. since it seems as though the whole world has used up every idea you think about. think about that. yeah. but i know there are things that haven't been thought about. and i'm the one trying to think about them. & find them really..

some people are so clever. i wonder if i'm clever?

here are some clever things i've found :

here is a song that is inspiring to the mind ~ this is good if you have great speakers & excellent bass. listen to everything LOUD. or else.. why are you listening at all??

grow slow

there are smells in this world
that make me stop to take in the deep breath
and then i think
about how there needs to be a jar
that can capture smells
so that we can open it up any time
and smell it.


i'm the same way with sounds
like
the sound of .. rocks
fumbling around
under a creek.
or water falling over rocks
or someone who can
whistle really
really well.
or a foreign person
talking in english.

long way to go

my song of the week.. its marvelous.
i wish SOO bad that i could go to their show on the 27th this month at the Fillmore in SanFrancisco.

i have no one to go with tho. whatevs. I love Railroad Earth. i mean that music is just amazing. I wish i could play the banjo. I held one and strummed on it a little bit at the music shop down town. i'm in love .

i've been scared on blog world because finals. I should be doing math homework but i needed a break. I am going to utah december 29th until january 7th. i have 3 photoshoots! woo! i'm back in the game. very happy about that. so of course you'll all see photos from those later. i'll probably try to get more but for now that's awesome.


once my vacation happens i'll be more exciting. so don't forget about me over here guys.

thankful for .. walkin closets

(the double as a hideout) i am thankful for my cat.. anouk seldean. i love her more than anything. i am thankful for my totally radical family. because they are hilarious and keep not only my family.. but EVERYONE on their toes. i am thankful for my car.. my trusty subaru legacy outback. for sweet warm candles & chocolate. for my friends near and far - old & young. for lots and lots of things.but today .. i am thankful for my leather boots and leather jacket because it is going to rain.

i am going down to sacramento today to see brooke.. whom i have not seen in a long long time. jackie is coming with me because she is home for a couple days too. i haven't seen either of them for quite some time. i am excited. we are going to get tea.

i took some photos of my thanksgiving last night. well, of the dessert. hahahaha ... & we didn't eat the cat food.. i got those for my 3 cats.. don't judge me.. i love my cats.

that apple pie was cracking me up because it was so tall. and that was their smallest one! they come in sizes.. we got the apple and the pumpkin pies from the Kids INC farm.. sooo yummy. im going to have pumpkin pie for breakfast. i am disgusting when it comes to eating food. i never eat it at the right time. but i dont even care.
i tried to make sams moms recipe of breadsticks and i thought i was doing great but they didnt even work! they didnt rise at all. and i put yeast in. yeast hates me. i am not a very good baker. but i can cook. one day i'll learn to make breadsticks the right way.

oh man. seriously slackin

sorry guys. i dont know if anyones noticed but its tuesday night and the last time i wrote was friday. weird. not much has been going on tho for me to even write a decent blog. been pretty overwhelmed and busy with my school work. nooooot so fun. at all. but its almost done i just need to hang in there.

umm i have yet to get any pictures of my boots and leather jacket etc. eventually guys. just be patient. the time will come sometime. but in the mean time i did take a picture of this delicious croissant i had for breakfast in san jose at a European bakery downtown ..



yeah it was really good. and i've had many many croissants in my life time. you all should know this. its funny how the weird stereotypes about the french are all pretty much spot on sometimes. we love bread.. cheese.. wine.. coffee.. what other stereotypes about the french are there? don't even say we don't shave because that's back in the day stuff. i mean, for some i hope.. i don't uphold that stereotype. i also don't smoke. but i do wish i could find a beret that fit me right. those are the only stereotypes i can think of.

how silly.

i slept for 9 hours last night.

day dreams ~ fantasies

this is my blog. and i'll do what i want to.

i have a list of books i "need". i picture myself having many great books and people coming over to my place, sitting down on a couch that is comfy enough to sleep on, grabbing a book from the shelf or table near by and making a note to self to buy the book for themselves later. for me, when i own my own house the decorations will be bookshelfs.. bookshelfs are essential to me. i love my small bookshelf that i have - my greatgrandmothers - that is crammed full of books and knick-knacks. bookshelves not only hold books but they can hold all my gadgets and randoms, which also, is essential. being as i have a LOT of randoms..

another thing that i need to have ... non matching dishes. i don't want dishes that match. at first i did and i liked it. but then, i decided the things in my life need to more reflect myself. and yeah, dishes matter. as long as they have the same basic-ness i guess.. i can't have totally opposite ends of the spectrum in my cabinets. i think i'd like pottery dishes. i'd also really love to take a pottery class that would be so beyond awesome. i already have a small collection of otagiri mugs that i've been picking up from the thrift store. i love otagiri designs.

next point of interest. i'd like a python. a very well contained one, because i can't have my precious anouk being eaten. i would be so mad and sad. snakes don't gross me out. they are so soft and amazing. i would just love to hold it and let it slide around and hang out. sometimes. now that i am saying this i am thinking of situations where i wouldnt be too happy to run into my pet slithering around freely. hm.

a pool and a hottub. with a perfect view of the sky. some shade maybe off in a corner. but who needs it when youre swimming. the hottub would be used mainly at night to relax and look at the stars during meteor showers and whatnot. speaking of, when is the next scheduled meteor shower? i'll never forget watching one with lora & molly 3 or 4 years ago on my back porch.. molly ran to her car to get something and missed the biggest shooting star EVER. lora and i screamed and couldn't get over it and molly was so sad she missed it. always in my memory, things like that.

CALIFORNIA

here i am. back at home. my cat is so precious and cuddled with me this morning i love her so much. its beautiful outside my window - still as green as can be. there is a vine creeping up my gate and into my flower boxes. there is a pretty 'welcome home' vase with flowers from my moms garden on my table with a big white yummy sweet smelling peony in it. my room is untouched - except for my closet which i had to re-organize because my sister had at it while i was away & apparently she doesn't know how to properly put away clothes in the right fashion... my suitcase is unpacked but will soon be re-packed for my trip to virginia on wednesday. (much smaller suitcase tho) i have a photoshoot today at 11:30, back to work back to the life.

my utah trip was so nice. i didn't do a lot of what i had planned - but that always happens. the main thing is is that i had fun with what i did do.

i had fun with joanna too - my bunkbuddy. her bed is the most comfortable thing probably ever. i didn't want to move for days when i was on her bed. we somehow didn't get any photos together. i don't know how that happens. oh well. next time. i helped joanna & allison move into their new apartment.. its IDENTICAL to my old one. just with light blue walls & a couple different things like stove & sink. it made me miss my old place so much. i really want to move back to utah. i'm just not done there yet! i think maybe i'll transfer to the U for my medical stuff cause they have a really good program. but first i gotta finish up here in california! so i won't move back for a while. maybe summer or fall 2010.


i need more money. i want to buy a really nice camera. & i want to start saving up big time for a serious move. it'll be hard.. but i need to do it.
anyway. hi blog world.

apply to life

pain is inevitable, suffering is optional

this, has just become my brand new motto for life. and just those six words completely slapped me in the face and i got over it. i'm not suffering. at all. in anyway. because my life is rad and i'm successful. people love me and i have pretty much all doors open - there is literally nothing that is unreachable for me. i make friends everywhere which lead me to more doors. connections and networks. people TRUST me. i give no one any reason not to. i'm not a bad person. in anyway. i've always been a quick-to-recover sort of girl. with everything. nothing phases me. i don't really hold grudges. but i do remember really messed up things people have done to me. i am the HARMONY that holds things together. i am only here for good. treat me bad - karma comes around. i lift others up when they are down, my goal is to make people happy - never anything else. my intentions are true and solid. i don't like others who dislike others just because someone else does. i'm just tryin to get by with out any rocks hitting my head. so ... don't throw rocks at me. just you know, if you don't have something nice to say don't say anything at all. be nice to everyone. you never know...

your (my, anyone's, everyone's) ideas can be a commodity.

my suggestions are silent and transparent, weightless and cloaked - readily dodged and disregarded - curiously i'm not the enemy ........