I'm a day behind on everything

I keep thinking it's a day behind the day it actually is. These last few weeks of the year have been so out of the ordinary. I'm trying to keep up. I don't feel like falling down before the new year starts.

I don't like all the hype attached to the beginning of a new year tho. So much expectation, unrealistic and empty. It is what you make it, any day any time. 

Gotta remind myself of that.

Here's me , from the side

its me!

so finally, here is a picture of me with my new 'OMBRE' hair

its pretty. i like it. my boyfriend took it.

which by the way, the 2nd part of his [framed] show is out

check it out if you will :

[Framed] Part2

he is so cute.

we went to the zoo . and i really like the tiger & the gorillas.

and i took this picture in the 'asian highlands' there was nobody at the zoo.

it was cool. but i always wish i could get closer to the animals and love them.

i am sick. im not happy about it.

this is me .

at raph & kristens house

visiting their newborn baby Elouise

photo courtesy of Kristens phone taken by my handsome boyfriend

ME ME ME ME

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it - I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

virginia satir

palockpanir

i cant believe its supposed to rain until wednesday. what the heck?

luckily LA will be clear and warm ... cant wait for that trip seriously. this week is going to go by so slow i just know it.. painful ! tay & i are gonna laugh so much. we already discussed it.

mitch & i are going to have piña coladas on the beach. wish that was tomorrow... it is so needed. in bathing suits... hahahaha.

i hope i remember to take pictures on my trip tho. i ALWAYS forget. other people take photos but i always forget to use my camera. which is stupid. its a nikon d300s ... how could i forget to use something like that? im ridic.

here is me today. a picture i took for someone.... no make up because it was my day off. . never happening again because i have such pathetic eyelashes. maybe i should paint my wall the way it looks in this picture. it looks dank! ... all green and faded... i wonder why it even looks that way.

aaannnddd here is payton in the shirt i sent her
with the origami flower i sent her.. so cute.

& ... i've gotten back into wizarding :

a photograph of me - mother nature

so this was taken at jakes photo workshop - this was my first look out of three. i can not wait to see the rest of the photos ... i love this one. and i didnt really know what was on my head up until i saw this photograph. i cant believe its me... but it is. yay

why do you like me?

why do people like me? what is it about me that people like? cause i have no idea.

i don't think i'm that cool.. i've always kinda thought i was a loser who made bad jokes, made faces in pictures and laughed at inappropriate things. i'm also kind of rude and i spend way too much time on the computer. (in my defense, i live in the country & i hate driving all around & spending money. plus i am taking online courses.. so back off)

but i really am curious. WHY do you like ME? i want reasons.. i need to compile them and put them in a notebook to remind myself that at one point people actually liked me.. just in case everyone stops liking me for some reason. (see above: 'rude' & 'laughs at inappropriate things')

in the mean time.. while you are thinking of reasons , here are some "behind the scenes" photos of the photoshoot i did with Ryan Muirhead .. this was after the shoot was over and we wanted to take some goofy photos before packing up.

the models : nicole bullard, myself, lianna hartley & alissa sosa

here i am making a face at a photoshoot
... i have no idea what i was doing :

"pouting" i think i am the only one who did it right.. haha :

laughing ! :

no idea whats going on here :

we were tickling each other.. liannas idea.. hahaha :

i can not remember what was going on here.. but it is GREAT :

5 photoshoots.. wow

so here i am . . . in utah. day 4. i've shot with evelyn, jake, john, ryan & jozef. tomorrow i am shooting with mikenna and that will be awesome. here are some pictures from my shoot with john - i haven't recieved photos from the other shoots yet.. its gonna be awesome when i do .. im really excited. anyway.. tell me what you think.. (anyone can comment on my blog, i have it open to all viewers. hey)

2/30 - self portrait black&white

well there i am.. i shot this with a 24mm manual lens. pretty difficult but i got it down. photo #2 of my 30 days! hope you enjoy it.. since i never post up photos of myself.. i'm mysterious. i never do black and white either, but i felt this photo just looked more.. glamorous and classy. here is the other photo i took.. everyone seems to like this one better.. i personally like the top one most because its actually sharp and what i was going for.. but gotta go with what the audience likes more i suppose in this business. haha weird how my 2nd choice is always peoples 1st choice. hm.

tagged & two new photos

I received the honest scrap from Lions, Tigers & Fashion OH MY!. Here is how it works, list 10 facts about yourself and then pass it on to fellow bloggers as you choose.

1) i don't like citrus

2) my animal totems are bees, moths & vultures. i'm always on the look out for my newest addition.

3) i have a couple of best friends, but only one of them knows exactly what i like (decor, clothes, people, seriously anything).. & that is tayler.

4) one of my goals in life is to ride in a hot air balloon. i day dream about this often

5) the only socks i really ever wear are halloween socks, year round. i just like them..

6) i was born in france, my dad & half of my family are french, i have duel citizenship, i have been to france so many times.. yet i do not speak fluent french!

7) i can't wear red, it looks terrible against my skin tone.

8) i'm only 5'2 and weigh 98lbs. i don't think i look that short or skinny at all! i feel the same size as everyone else.

9) i love my 98 subaru outback , but shh don't tell it.. i secretly want the new outback in brown.

10) i highly enjoy doing math but don't ask me any equations.. because i freeze up & doubt myself.

I would like to pass this on to:

Ginger - FOUR HANDSOME FELLAS with blue eyes.. & ME with green..
Valencia - rollupyoursleeve
Nell , my soul sister - an owls soul
Ruta - Look Ugly in a Photograph
Miranda, my actual sister - define: thoughts
Jade - my name is jade

here are two photos my sister took of me today with my camera , i like the second one even tho it is blurry. but if you pay attention my jaw/cheek and some of my hair is in focus. haha. & i am wearing my new flannel that fits me like a dream. i will have to get an actual photo of it later. & yesss my eyes really are green, i don't hardly ever edit my pictures i am too lazy for that. toooo lazy for everything these days in fact.

pictures of myself.. taken by myself.. this is hard

so i finally tried to take some photos of myself. but since all i have is my 50mm its kind of hard. i didn't really want to ask anyone to take the photo for me because well.. i sorta wanted my camera in the photo.. its such a nice detail to what i am wearing.

some ..

i haven't mastered taking a photo of my self in the mirror. this is the best i could do for now.. me and my new camera.. my sidekick ... my new love.

some photos i took while out on a shoot with lisa this evening - havin fun with the macro.. i love macro. it must be my next lens.

then there is my other cat Minou hiding under the table among the chair legs.. and some birthday banana bread Jean made for me.. SO YUMMY. i wish my birthday was every week so she'd make that for me all the time. -but i had my WhiteBalance set to floresent light and forgot to change it back so these two photos look a little on the blue side.. i'm still learning my camera haha.


i love my nikon. i am so satisfied. i can't wait to receive my package tomorrow with my 50mm f/1.4... so excited.

i am so mad i got rid of this shirt + p.s. i need clothing help

because i really liked it. and i want to wear it the days. because i have nothing new in my wardrobe at all. i am an old boring worn out mess. i need to give my wardrobe an update. maybe next week. because tomorrow i am buying my camera (d300s) and a lens (50mmf/1.4) and a filter.. and a memory card.. so i'll be sorta down on the count for a second there. but next week i'll try to purchase some tank tops & a pair of pants and SOME SHOES i need some shoes. hey all you fashion lovers that i am blog following these days want to point me in the direction of some sweet sites that i can purchase some new threads and digs for not so much? but first know this: i don't wear the color red, i don't ever really wear tshirts, i don't "match", & i don't wear earrings even tho i have my ears double pierced. i also don't wear heels even tho i am only 5'2. because i go to college and i work therefore heels just don't mix at all. here is my style in various photos, so you can get the idea: i like vests. and arm bands. if you look closely in every photo of me i have a brown arm band on my left arm. its been there for 4 years, its hemp string. i have seen some people copy me with that & they give up because they knew they are lame for trying to be like me.. suckers. it's not a fashion statement really, it represents my big brother who is in the army. i put it on when he left. it'll probably stay on for the rest of my life. sometimes i put the big gold arm band over it tho. that thing ROCKS.

i wear 4 rings at all times - i dont need any new rings because these never come off.. but i like silver & gold. and i loooove gem stones.

i told you i dont match. thats me on the left. i don't really layer anymore. but i'm pretty relaxed when it comes to getting dressed as you can tell.

i don't have much rack, so i can wear whatever i want. i look so fake baked here but i'm not ,do armpits even tan? geeze. i like dark colors, i prefer wearing black. but i do LOVE color. just bursts of it.

i like bracelets. mostly cloth/string/maryroot. but i do wear metal. that one bracelet is a giraffe.

i also like gold, i just think gold makes you look cleaner with certain outfits. and more warm.

i look a little bit retard here in this photo but i mostly all of the time wear moccassins. i have those boots and my other two slip on mocs. that is my dilemma currently because mocs in wet weather = no good. so i'm on the prowl for some sort of shoes. i'm picky tho. i want some equestrian boots. soo sick. gosh i really don't have many photos of myself full body wearing what i wear. i guess i need to start. because i want to remember one day what i dressed like. i wear loose fitting clothing except my pants, only some. i'll publish more of what i wear so that everyone can see it, make fun of it, or dig it and compliment. either way i'm gonna be more interesting here in the blogosphere. now that i will have a camera so i'll post up good photos. and that i will be painting more so people can buy my work. i do custom.. bon nuit ~

silver lake 2

some of yosemite

working with light

valley floor drivin with the sunroof open

there was a bug on me.. haha

yosemite .. the view you come here to see.

our "waterhole" as lindsey called it.

me scoping out the surroundings for a photograph

lindsey kept taking photos of me