8 years later

Howdy. It's funny how one day you write your last blog post and the next thing you know 8 years have gone by and a lot has happened in those years. None of it is worth remembering, at least not right now. It feels like everything that once was has now been shaken loose and long forgotten. I've become a different version of myself, I guess that's the point. Yet to me, my story remains the same. I'm constantly seeking purpose. In some form or another. I've always been a bit on the "negative" side (according to my haters) - pondering the reason for life, wondering "why me?", contemplating the future, dreaming big dreams that feel juuuust out of my reach (if only I had a grabber claw or a step stool), and recounting my past as if a hidden bonus lesson lies within the memories. oh well, whatever. i always figure it out. heres what i've learned: i've learned to stop taking detours. i've learned time invested in myself is time invested well. i've learned you can't trust anyone. i've learned that i'm impossible to take down. i've learned that i have been used by others for their personal gain and advantage at my expense and i've learned to longer give access to my valuable resources. i've learned that i have a lot to learn. i'll sign off with one of my favorite things, ~ a list ~ - a deep breath - some peace and quiet - purple flowers - an idea - the results - nice stationary - writing in pencil - sonnet 29 - finding the right combo - when it all comes together nicely - french fries - objet d'art - botanical gardens - pinterest - the tomten - tools of comfort - justice - reverence - amor fati

here i am 2017

a list


- snowshoes w/ poles
- i need a tan
- homemade brownie
- warm blankets
- someone who likes me
- someone who i like back
- a trip to France
- (learn french first)
- can't decide if i like my hair dark or blonde
- i want some Korean food
- i should read more
- trip to California
- specifically LA
- specifically Home
- give me your clothes you don't want anymore
- i miss Anouk
- my dad bought me a microwave & i cried
- i miss my parents
- i should use my cameras more



- google "space age" and look under images, know that so many of those photos make me happy

Bought a new car

Things I have to give up because I bought a new car: 

Getting my hair done

Eating out

Clothing

Pretty much doing anything.

But dang. Ain't she pretty?  

A list

Pick more flowers. 

Ran around a bit more.

Go ahead & have that cookie.

Be kind more often.

Cherish the relationships you have.

Stop being down on yourself.

You look great.

Make the most amazing meal.

Try something new.

Go on more hikes.

Laugh really hard once a day.

Wear a fancy outfit.

Ride a bike.

Lay outside.

Down forget sunscreen.

Compliment your friends.

Leave love notes to everyone.

Wear more color.

Give someone you like a back rub.

Hug more often.

Look into horse back rides.

Plan a trip to the salt flats with your girls to light off fireworks & have a fun photoshoot.

ARRANGE MORE PHOTOSHOOTS! Have fun.

Day off

List of things to do on my day off: 

-Crack walnuts with a hammer outside

-Take a nap

-Take a bath

-Get sushi later