tired of not having things work out.
tired of others not liking the way i am.
tired of not helping myself
tired of making dumb choices
tired of not planning ahead
tired of not having enough money
tired of feeling less than
tired of being told i'm wrong
tired of being looked down on
tired of mean people
tired of selfish people
tired of dreaming of a life that's not mine
tired tired tired
i wonder how i can be inspired to write in it again
i feel like everything i have to say it so weird and boring
currently, today on my day off, i am working on a puzzle.
also having a random allegory attack on my left eye, for no reason. i took my allergy pill, yet my eye feels like i need to have it carved out. so thats fun.
anouk is sitting here on the bed with me. in the sliver of sunshine thats left coming through the window. the sun sets so early in the winter, i hate it. but i feel like i can absolutely tell each day that there is a minute of extra light.
looking forward to being able to go run around the park in the morning instead of hauling my ass to the gym in the darkness.
oh yes, my car is not drivable currently. my stuff that makes my wheels drive and holds everything in place have all fallen apart. so i'm really excited and so happy to get that fixed and deal with that... not really. i love having my car. i hate not being able to drive it. it's really sad and also super discouraging because i have no money to fix it, and no money to get a new car.
i don't know where i went wrong in managing my finances. (wait, i probably do) but it's really bad.
i think my one wish would be: go back in time and re-think all my purchases ever. save my money. i could be doing SO good if i had figured out my shit better. c'mon cassie...
all i can do now is learn from my mistakes and start building my way out of this hole i've dug myself. wish me luck on that one.
the average girls average life, what a fun blog.
but i love my job, its far from average. it's so much fun and so much more superior to where i was working back in california.
my new bosses are incredible and brilliant people. they are thoughtful and business savvy. they are fun to be around and i learn things from them every day. i can't believe my old boss thought he was a good person to his employees. he was really awful to work for and i am so glad i made my choice to get the hell out of there. it bugs me to think i wasted 4 years working for someone who didn't give two shits about me. oh well. mistakes. blah blah right?
brian is great. we have fun together. currently we are watching the x-files. binge watching. it's silly but it's something i look forward to doing each night with him. i've also meal-planned this entire week, so i'm excited to see how each meal turns out. i like seeing him enjoy the food i make. he's so good to me. i'm lucky. sometimes i forget how lucky i am to have him. he's a total babe and he cares about me. very glad to have found him, who knew i'd finally find someone who was good to me? i certainly wasn't expecting it.
also, i went up to sun valley idaho to work at our new store - it is seriously one of the most beautiful places i have ever been to! i can't wait to go back up there. its amazing. and this is another awesome thing - my job and my bosses: they trust me enough to help their business grow. how cool is it that i am able to work at three locations and get paid to do it? and i ENJOY doing it, i love seeing this business grow. funny how when you're treated right and things are done specifically and with care, how you actually give a shit about your job and love it, right? it is possible to love your job. you just can't think you're stuck at the shitty one you have now, make the moves people!
anyway, now that i'm semi caught up on telling the internet about my easy life, i'm going to go focus on my puzzle.
So, whats new...
Well, my new job is amazing. I absolutely adore my bosses and all my coworkers. They are all so amazing in different ways. I admire them all so much already. I look forward to going to work everyday! Who knew such a thing existed? I love working with glasses and eyes. It really makes me happy to learn everyday, as well as apply my existing knowledge. I'm really happy with my job at Image Eyes Optical. It's AWESOME.
Also, I moved in with Brian. Its so natural and great. I like him so much. He's so much fun. Plus so crazy handsome it's not fair. I'm the luckiest. We are still learning about each other, but we both are so flexible and understanding that everything is working out so great. I'm so thankful I found him. I had no intention of this sort of thing happening when I moved to Utah... but look at me now... Such a trip. But I always tell my friends, when they ask me for advice, not to hesitate. If you hesitate, it won't last. Just go for it. You live this life as the person you are, ONE TIME. So why waste it with what ifs and could haves... I won't be that way anymore. I'm gonna do what I want, and be who I want. Its been amazing so far. I needed to be out of my comfort zone in order for me to realize so much...
So my advice to anyone who feels stuck and stagnant: CHANGE IT ALL UP. Don't be afraid. I mean damn, one life, just enjoy it. Go for a ride. Have some fuckin FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOO!!!
Down side to my advice: (or maybe down side to living in a city with everything in close proximity)
WEIGHT GAIN. EW i hate it. I've totally gained some weight. I gotta get super hot again. I mean I'm not disgusting by any means, but I'm not comfortable with myself, I can totally tell a difference. Whatever, I'll make it work.
I love living in Utah. it's so fun here. So new... I can't wait for my friends to come visit me. I also can't wait to visit home again soon.
anyway, heres me riding a horse through a rider in Wyoming... oh my god. so incredible still.
So, i really love my new job.
I applied at only ONE optical shop in Salt Lake City when i moved here. And i just crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. And i got the job a few weeks later! So thankful. I work for some of the most genuine and wonderful people i've met so far, with some of the coolest, sweetest more helpful coworkers ever - who I now get to call friends also!
I really love being apart of the Image Eyes Optical team. I currently work at the Sugarhouse location, 2008 S 1100 E , and its so great.
i've already found a million pairs of glasses that i love.
I just got these Anne et Valentin sunglasses today:
figured i *needed* them for my spur of the moment trip to California! right? yes.
Brijan surprised me with a trip back to California to get my cat Anouk. He is really the sweetest most thoughtful guy ever. He is also so much fun and so handsome. I'm lucky.
I just wish he'd get home already so we could leave now!
I really like my life in Utah. I just can't wait til i get more settled in and explore a bit more so I can start hanging out with my friends and taking photos at cool places. Soon. very soon.
I'm super addicted to this place called Taco Taco. I'm always obsessed with tacos really, but this particular place is just AMAZING. I can't wait to take my california friends that visit me to all my favorite places.