Monday, November 30, 2009

quick draw kiddos christmas list 2009

- the dvd wall-e
- a baby chinchilla - cage and accessories included
- 4x6 picture frames that look neat
- nikon 105mm f/2.8 vr
- nikon sb 800 flash
- some r e s p e c t
- ipod touch NOW please!
- a new soft blanket for my bed
- some books.. i'll get back to elaborate on this later
- the dvd ratatouille .. want this sooo bad

i think that is all. all i can think of right now.

Friday, November 27, 2009

thankful for .. walkin closets

(the double as a hideout) i am thankful for my cat.. anouk seldean. i love her more than anything. i am thankful for my totally radical family. because they are hilarious and keep not only my family.. but EVERYONE on their toes. i am thankful for my car.. my trusty subaru legacy outback. for sweet warm candles & chocolate. for my friends near and far - old & young. for lots and lots of things.but today .. i am thankful for my leather boots and leather jacket because it is going to rain.
i am going down to sacramento today to see brooke.. whom i have not seen in a long long time. jackie is coming with me because she is home for a couple days too. i haven't seen either of them for quite some time. i am excited. we are going to get tea.

i took some photos of my thanksgiving last night. well, of the dessert. hahahaha ... & we didn't eat the cat food.. i got those for my 3 cats.. don't judge me.. i love my cats.

that apple pie was cracking me up because it was so tall. and that was their smallest one! they come in sizes.. we got the apple and the pumpkin pies from the Kids INC farm.. sooo yummy. im going to have pumpkin pie for breakfast. i am disgusting when it comes to eating food. i never eat it at the right time. but i dont even care.
i tried to make sams moms recipe of breadsticks and i thought i was doing great but they didnt even work! they didnt rise at all. and i put yeast in. yeast hates me. i am not a very good baker. but i can cook. one day i'll learn to make breadsticks the right way.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

oh man. seriously slackin

sorry guys. i dont know if anyones noticed but its tuesday night and the last time i wrote was friday. weird. not much has been going on tho for me to even write a decent blog. been pretty overwhelmed and busy with my school work. nooooot so fun. at all. but its almost done i just need to hang in there.

umm i have yet to get any pictures of my boots and leather jacket etc. eventually guys. just be patient. the time will come sometime. but in the mean time i did take a picture of this delicious croissant i had for breakfast in san jose at a European bakery downtown ..

yeah it was really good. and i've had many many croissants in my life time. you all should know this. its funny how the weird stereotypes about the french are all pretty much spot on sometimes. we love bread.. cheese.. wine.. coffee.. what other stereotypes about the french are there? don't even say we don't shave because that's back in the day stuff. i mean, for some i hope.. i don't uphold that stereotype. i also don't smoke. but i do wish i could find a beret that fit me right. those are the only stereotypes i can think of.

how silly.

i slept for 9 hours last night.

Friday, November 20, 2009

san jose

so im here at the hotel in san jose. tomorrow lisa & i have a wedding that goes all day.. its gonna be a really busy non-stop day. it wears me out and i zone out the entire time and only listen to lisas voice pretty much. i can't really be creative when i am rushed around. i don't know how lisa does it.
i wish i could get some photos of san jose, its kinda pretty in some places. i like the city vibe a lot. it makes me miss salt lake. i wish salt lake wasn't 11 hours away.. i wish it was as close as san jose is. ahhh i'll never be satisfied. i want to go to new york with jenna next year. i've always wanted to go to new york but ive never had anyone who would/could go with me. i can't wait to move. im not moving to new york. but i just cant wait to get out of this area.. i've said that a lot. but gosh i am super tired of the same thing over and over again. i don't know where to move tho. i'm so torn between all these places. plus there is the job factor, and right now jobs are hard to come by. annoying.

i really want some pizza right now. and some dessert. i forgot about dinner tonight. i could have gone out and gotten something by my self but im kind of a fraidy cat when it comes to walking around in the big city that ive never been to by myself and where i dont know anyone. that seems pretty logical and fair right/? gee.z

i dont have photos to post in this blog. i think i am too boring for blogging. no one reads my life. sorry guys. i'll try to be more exciting.. well next week one of my bes frens jackie is coming home. so we are going to hang out and hooooopefully go see tiffany for a bit up in tahoe at some point. i'm excited to see my friends. i never ever get to see friends really.. because of school and work. and everyone lives far away.

i'm watching mean girls. weird movie. but some pretty good moral whatevers in here. i cant wait until my hair is all grown out and natural! oh my gooosh. how much longer do i have to endure this!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009


000000000000000000000000000000000000000 <- anouk did that.

today i went on a shoot with lisa in old sacramento to shoot the Andrew Heringer band. it was waaay fun and we found the COOLEST PLACE EVER! the city incinerator.
by the way i know that all my stuff is underlined. i don't know how to get rid of it. i had pasted a thing from a note i wrote on facebook onto my blog then changed my mind about it. but it kept the underlining.
oh what the heck

it stopped. i dont know how i did this.
um awkward.

anyway here are some photos i snapped of the day: i guess this is a movie set , so its graudally being painted and stuff.. its really cool . its by horse cow.

this is a totally weird post.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

new top .. & the BAND.

remember when i did the polyvore clothing collage? and i bought that lace bustier ? well here it is.. i love it. especially with sweatpants yes? hahaha sorry.. i wasnt about to change out of those.. they are new. and we all know that new sweatpants and sweaters are ultra soft. so you get the idea.

i need to get some action shots of me wearing my clothes.. i always do shots like this .. im just laaazy and booooooring. so this stuff will suffice. any how.. here is a great song. i hope this video does it justice.. i dont have sound on my computer yet so i dont know how this sounds but i hope you all like it.. it is an amazing song. and i am in looove with robbie robertson (this version of him.. 70s version..)

this is my song of the week. it makes me happy.. makes me think of the beat and the groove. takes my mind off the bad. it is the song. and i love all their music. i would have LOVED to see the last waltz live.. damn

Monday, November 16, 2009

took this from caits blog..

here is caitlyn _ here

No limits. From any time period whatsoever, dead or alive, currently single or married. Reblog with your 5 celebrity choices in each category.

5 celebrities you’d marry/date.

1. prince harry
2. robbie robertson (70s version, in the last waltz)
3. edward norton

4. brad pitt okay. early years.

5. gabriel aubry.. ahem..

5 celebrities you want to be best friends with.

1. audrey tautou
2. natalie portman
3. ashley olsen

4. keira knightley
5. lauren bacall

5 celebrities you’d knock off the face of the earth.

1. miley "shut the hell up" cyrus

2. lil "absolutely disgusting & annoying" wayne
3. can peta count?
4. nancy "idiot" peloci

5. lindsay "dumpster" lohan

a kisket a casket

got a new leather jacket. and some new leather boots.
i will photograph them accordingly.
because i don't think i can wear them at the same time.

that would be overload. and i'd aquire biker/rocker status quickly. and then i'd have to get tattoos and listen to tool. more often then i do already.. i love tool.

here is a quick preview of my new boots.
more to come when they are upon my feet.

i hate my phone. only because it connects me with someone i never want to be connected with again. this thing is the source of my anger as of late! !!!!

and i was taking my measurements today for modeling and i looked down and saw my tape measure and thought it looked so cute and neat. so i snapped a little photo of it.

Saturday, November 14, 2009


my 4 new tops arrived today. very very very pleased with all of them . i am so happy to have some new to my wardrobe. tonight i might make the time to take in my new velvet dress so that it fits me. & tomorrow i am going shopping with my mom and sister. i am on a mission for some boots and some leggings. thats all i really need.. maybe some jeans but thats a long shot because jeans never fit me. i have so many clothes. i don't even wear half of them and i should. i need to start mixing it up and wearing all of my things. does anyone else do that with their stuff or am i the only one? seems like i'm the only one.. sheesh

the only cool thing i have to show you all today is that i've almost filled my wall with pictures. the whale painting isn't going to stay there because i am going to give it away eventually since i painted it. but i love my collection. i didn't get everything in on this photo but this is the main idea. i'm pleased with it. i also have other wall art just not all isolated to this wall. the other day i found two really awesome octagon framed pieces.. they are so cool. i photographed them too. i also photographed my little tribute to the cat loves in my life.. hahaha

the top left painting was done by my grandpa serge as well as the other painting 3rd down from the top on the right. the whale painting was done by me.. and between the butterfly and the elephant is a photograph sam took of salt lake city at night. the rest are all just great finds.. love them so much!

new pieces, 3d

cats.. top left is naomi(rip), then anouk my precious baby.
then bottom left is duece and lucky.. i love cats. such good times

Thursday, November 12, 2009

sneak attack photos

me taking photos from behind the rock..

then i noticed i had been discovered by my boss lisa..
haha thanks lisa.. youre the best.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

veterans day - live free or die

don't forget the people who choose to serve us and keep us free. days like these reminds us of what we have - freedom. they protect our homes and family.. we've had to fight to keep our freedom.. fight to keep people from taking away our way of life. we have our lives because of those who put their lives on the line for us. they don't sacrifice their lives.,they act in their own interest to protect. they serve us, how do you serve them? show respect. show gratitude.
my brother is in the army.. served a year in korea a year in afghanistan.. now he's in texas at fort hood.. he witnessed the recent shooting. private zac leconte military intelligence.. he is only one of the 1 million people serving today. be thankful for them. i know i am.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

grow slow

today i bought a velvet dress at the thrift store that i am going to sew to make it fit me.

i haven't been taking any photos lately. i don't know why. i guess i have nothing to photograph. no one seems to care when i take photos anyways, i need to travel somewhere to get some good photos. i gotta really "wow" you guys or something because no one ever comes and reads my blog anymore. geeze haha. but i did take some of myself today... bored.
i really want to go to england to visit my brother for new years. but the chances of that are small. ii was going to paris for new years.. but that plan didnt follow thru which is STILL a bummer. i will probably end up in salt lake city which is closer, cheaper and normal. the reason i would go to salt lake instead of stay here .. because none of my friends live around me anymore so i have nothing to do. and none of my friends who live other places care to invite me to do anything.. let alone keep in contact with me. so whatever. i guess its partially my fault since i am busy with non-stop school work and working. that's what happens when you are trying to get your bachelors, masters and doctorate in bio-science to become a naturopathic doctor. ummm

but i am going to san fransisco in december for a couple days to stay with my friend meg and explore the city and have some time off before school starts up again. that will be much needed, plus its only a 2 hour drive. easy.

i probably shouldn't even be writing a blog right now. but i am avoiding my history paper and math homework. i am really tired and i just want to nap. but school work is whirling around in my head and constantly pestering me. i can't wait until this term is done. i'm so done with these classes.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

clothes.. velvet..

i wear a lot of black and dark colors. i really like black.. and dark colors.

those nicholas kirkwood python sandals. oh my god. if i had those and had places to wear them.. i think people would never look at me.. just at my feet. i super love the heel and platform on all his sandals... so cool. but i never wear heels, i can't pull it off. i just look silly. i'm too small to wear some of the things i want to wear most because it just over powers me and swallows me whole. but i am such a shoe girl. i love shoes. i don't have nearly enough as i need to have.

and i dont care what anyone says. i love velvet clothing. i think it is so good. and those blue Toast velvet pants.. i would rock them so hard. i want them bad. and now.. i'm not sure if i can pull off a super patterned pant but i really like those floral leggings anyways..
looking at all these clothes makes me want them all of course. i need to update my wardrobe. i actually just bought that lace corset up there.. this is a dangerous website... haha. but i'm planning on making my own tank top here soon.. i have a really cool easy idea. i can't wait until i have the time to make it and show it to everyone.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

i need to get back into modeling.

i haven't had a shoot for so long. the last time i had a shoot.. was in august i think. i haven't gotten the photos back from that shoot yet either. i can't wait to see them. i've done a lot of work with jake garn .. as you can see. he's an amazing photographer. i need to book some stuff big time because i miss modeling. anyone want to help me out here?
here are some photos i have in my portfolio .. i have a lot more but these are some of my favorites. i've only been in one magazine.. that was in asia in 2008. that's about all on my resume for modeling. i was almost in a music video as the main girl but that got canceled. bad luck i guess. can it still count?

hair & make up : paula dahlberg | wardrobe : keith bryce | photo : jake garn

hair & make up : paula dahlberg | wardrobe : keith bryce | photo : jake garn

warbrobe : free people | photo : t&c

hair : matthew landis | make up : kristian bankston | photo : jake garn

wardrobe : mckell maddox | photo : jake garn

hair : steven robertson | make up : paula dahlberg | photo : jake garn

Friday, November 6, 2009

you can go your whole life collecting days.

you can go your whole life collecting days.
& none will out weigh the one you wish you had back.

i just purchased 4 tops. i was in desperate need of new clothing items. i plan on getting a pair or two of boots next week. and i need some pants.. pants are the worst for me. they never fit. i just need a bunch of different spandex or leggings and that will be great. or i just wish i could wear shorts all the time. i will take pictures of my new purchases when they arrive. i have been slacking so bad on photos since i got home. i totally gave up on my one photo a day because i just dont have the patience for that right now nor the time.. nor the creative eye as of late.

i am signing up for spring term soon. i'm taking french (i finally need to actually learn my own language geeze) a photography class (i need to learn my own camera) a a history class about women.. should be quite boring i imagine. and some sort of sociology class. i think i'm gonna bail on those last two and just take a math class or something. i am not a fan of sociology and history.. i like it but i like it on my own terms.

i cant wait to move. i need to get out of here. i dont know when i plan to escape. but gosh. i'm getting suffocated and claustrophobic here. i don't know what to do. i wish i could win the lotto or sell some of my paintings for a lot of money. i want to become the next van gogh .. but a girl... in 2010.. with oil paints.. 3D with nature glued to it..
i can't leave my cat. but i can't take her with me because she loves it here. i would be so lonely and empty with out my cat. she is my best friend. she loves me so much she is like my own little daughter. except she is grey, really furry & fluffy, can't speak and has a tail.

i am basically a confused daydreamer of a girl. & i don't know what to do next. my brain is being driven in a zigzag circle upside down backwards dance. i'm in limbo. nothing is satisfying.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

totally slacking

okay so i didnt take a photo for yesterday nor did i take one for today. i think i gave up on one photo a day . i only got 11 days. oh well. too much work to my already too-much-work life.
i'm quite sick. i feel like my head isn't actually attached to the rest of my body. i've been working on a puzzle all day because it's just about the only thing i can do. i tried doing homework.. fail. being on the computer hurts my eyes.. but i am enduring it so that i can blog real quick. reading .. yeah right my eyes can't focus long enough. so yeah i've resorted to a fresh new charles wysocki puzzle. its sort of fall themed so i feel alright putting it together. i don't feel like i'm being a total slug. even tho i basically am.

i didn't go to class today and i don't think i'll go tomorrow. i hope my grades dont slap me in my face. but i just cant even imagine trying to be around people and take in information. i have to blow my nose often and i sound like a swamp thing.

i miss utah. i miss sam. i miss guillermo. i am back to feeling torn between these two places. i am back in limbo and quite unsure what to do about it. why can't this be easy ..

i need to buy some new boots.. i have my eye on a pair. big time.