Sunday, March 29, 2009


friday i went to anthonys house around 10. we did some watercolors in the yard. we also looked and cooed at the 5 new baby kittens that JanKy birthed last week. so little soft and cute. we named two so far - mud shake & smoosh. i can't wait to hold them. then when tiffany came over at 12 we started to rake & weed the herb garden spot on the hill. we didn't get far but its progress nonetheless. we plan on fixing up the yard real nice this summer.

i went on an hour bike ride with my sister. our legs hurt very bad. but it was worth it and we want to keep doing it more often. i also sorta got some stuff done on my analytical term paper.. but eh.. its really getting me down..

oh i also let anouk outside.. she loves it. she just prowls arond the garden where i am working at and sniffs stuff and gets spooked when the wind blows leaves around. its really cute. she likes to explore. i put lots of new tunes on my ipod today. i'm still not done tho. just taking a break.

now i'm just ending the day in a not so great mood. just really frusterated with life and squirmy from discomfort. discomfort from not having a whole lot of control over things and wanting to just give up. really irritated at the things that bind me. never satisfyed with what i am or what i have. difficulty getting over things. no end in sight. people who continue to keep giving me advice can just stop because i've heard it and i know. i can say those same things and sound like i know what i'm talking about but that doesnt make what is being said something "that simple" to do. i just want to get everything over with. i want to get out of here. why can't i just win the lotto or something. why is money always the root..

falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus

Saturday, March 21, 2009

what a day

my photoshoot when wonderful. me & paris had such a fun time. i really like her, we are friends. i can't wait to show everyone the photographs. very exciting. i miss my cat anouk so much. today i got beans & brew. it was so yummy. tomorrow i get to hang out with natalie , very excited about this. i cant wait to see her. i have SO much to tell you nats.

im very tired. i just wanted to let everyone know i am alive out here in utah... i'm going to go eat girlscout cookies now. at 12 at night. how much of a creep am i.

oh i bought two shirts & a dress today. very happy with my purchases. - see you all later. i will take photos tomorrow. i forgot to take photos of me and trey on friday. we had so much fun! i like trey he is so much fun to hang out with. so much adventures. and kirills house is amazing. i will photograph it too. we are going to have a jam session on his deck next time. it over looks the valley. very nice set up he has. oh ive had so many laughs already that i just am so happy for vacations. i am looking forward to going home tho. and seeing my cat, who i miss SO much. i love her so much i cant wait to see her..

well goodnight all.
comment me . say hi . i need some bloggosphere friends to recognize.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

tomorrow -!

tomorrow at 1 pm california time i drive to the airport to get on a jet plane to fly to utah! i will arrive in utah at around 6:30 utah time. pretty excited to get away from california for a bit! much needed vacation. short & sweet. hopefully. lots of plans for this trip. coffee trey friday. going to see annie & the family on friday as well. i love them , they are having their accountant do my taxes for me. SUCH A HUGE RELIEF. i love the paynes so much, they are great to me, such good wonderful people. saturday hopefully paris won't be all chipmunked out and we can go to the photoshoot together , we'll see. natalie and i hang out sesh for real whenever she can. pretty excited to just BE there already. i'm all packed right now.

i bought a really amazing dress at the thrift store today. it goes to my feet. and it has flowers all over it. i will photography it on me sometime, maybe with sams camera when i'm in utah. ha! i cant wait to hang out with the camera. yes. i also got a sweet pair of raybans.

here are some photos from christas camera from the march:

there is me and my fellow classmates! adam, me, liz, clarissa, tiffany, keely, marissa & christa. liz clarissa marissa & christa are the girls in my communications group. i love them all, i'm really glad i had this class and got those girls in my group. they are so much fun and we always have so much fun when we get together. we having a celebration party at my house for doing the march & doing a lot of work for it. i love making good life friends in funny ways.
& those guys i'm interviewing were from SLO - they go to qwesta college, they were cute. i shoulda got their #'s so we could hang with them when we go down for spring break. oooh well.

i took a long nap today. i've been taking naps frequently, and going to bed late. i need to stop that habit.

this is a funny website -
i did the thing below on this link i feel like its making me seem fat. hahahaha!:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cassie!

  1. The first domain name ever registered was
  2. If the annual Australian cassie crop was laid end to end, it would stretch around the world seven times.
  3. All swans in England belong to cassie.
  4. In her entire life, cassie will produce only a twelfth of a teaspoon of honey!
  5. A thimbleful of cassie would weigh over 100 million tons.
  6. There are now more than 4000 satellites orbiting cassie.
  7. Cassie can use only about ten percent of her brain!
  8. The moon is 400 times closer to the Earth than cassie, and 400 times smaller.
  9. If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill cassie.
  10. Cassie can last longer without water than a camel can.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

acedia • \uh-SEE-dee-uh\ • noun
apathy, boredom

Monday, March 16, 2009

olsen twins.

i've been friends with the olsen twins since i was little. i think maybe 7. i love their style these days, its so easy. i don't pick favorites with anything. and i wont start. but i will say that ashley is more like me. i like her. i wish we could hang out. marykate probably has some pretty good things to say too. maybe we'll hang later.

i bet it would be cool having a twin . sometimes.

i need new sunglasses. and some heels. some good ones.
i also want my hair to be more blonde and not so ridiculous as it has been being lately. its difficult. especially when i NEVER style it. i just let it air dry and then thats that. maybe i should take some time and effort to make it nice. i'll try it tomorrow morning.

i also have no idea why my skin is not so hot all of a sudden. my skin is never annoying. of course. this is typical. right before my vacation & my photoshoot. i shouldn't be surprised. haha cassie. i think its the stress.

i am writing a letter to the New York Times for my sociology project. i'm writing about media bias. its a really dumb assignment but i'm just trying to pass this ridiculous class and get over it. it should be good tho.

i'm dipping my toes into
the pool

just to see
maybe its warm yet

i don't think
i'll ever be ready

go swimming again.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

attack is the best defense

last night was karaoke.. it was fun to watch people. i am so socially out of it that all i did was watch people. i didn't do anything. i didn't even dress up cute. i mean i did stuff. i just didn't really hang like everyone else was. i couldn't drink a little bit because of my stomach. i didn't sing because.. just no. i did have fun tho. i saw an old friend from like 4 years ago. its so .. galvanizing. i'll use that word. when i saw him i couldnt even believe it was him and i just tuned everyone/thing out and was like whoa thats .. and i ran over and was like !!! WEIRD! and hugged and departed. and i saw another person there and i wanted so bad to jump up and say hi but i don't know him that well.. i'll mention that i saw him on tuesday. phone#. dibs. it was just so much STUFF last night. i haven't been out in so long. i feel old or something. i really forgot how much i love to be around people. i just forget how to be around them.. i hate it. i wish i didnt get like this.
we forgot cameras too. so there is no documentation of this night. sigh.

i bought two medical books at the thrift store today. one from 1950 called "the modern home physician" the pages/spine of the book smells like my granparents house in france. i like to smell the insides of pages in old books. such a warm sme
ll, nice for me - strange for others i'm sure..

i'm just really way boring. i don't even know how i have friends. i used to be fun. i'm going to blame having the fun sucked out of me on someone that is past tense relation. that, and being worn out from life. i'm only 20 and i'm exhausted. i don't know what to do sometimes. i just want a really long vacation. i'm sort of excited for my utah trip coming up soon. i was more excited but now i'm not as much. its just not as fun as it used to be.

i am ready
for amazing things
to happen to me

i am wide open to luck
and sizzling beauty

i want to have magical powers
and treat people
with a kind of dignity
that changes
how they feel

about themselves

i want my luck to be viral

and to leave a trail of great things

i want all my interactions to transform me
at the molecular level

and all my anxieties to find a home
in the trash

i am ready

Thursday, March 12, 2009


i had to go to the er last night. it put me off and set me back. but i can't get stressed about it. everything is oooookay. i skipped my first class to sleep in. i hated having a plastic iv shoved into my skin.. i cried when they gave me pain meds.

acid stomach and/or/maybe an ulcer from stress was the deal. very low blood sugar. weird. i had a horrible pain in my solar plexus - i still do a little bit. i can't explain it. it was sad. i'm glad its sort of over now. sam sent me a pretty photograph of a sunrise to make me feel better. he can be sweet still. & brogan made me a cute little feel better card, such a tender boy. anouk also pet me and licked my nose and cuddled with me all morning to make sure i was comfy and feeling good. i love her.

moving away from that subject -
i will post the collage of photos later tonight. i need to write an essay first & study for an english test. sigh. friday night i am going to karaoke @ powells with a bunch of people. i'm excited it will be a lot of fun. and... i go to utah in one week! so anxious.


Tuesday, March 10, 2009

current events

this happened this morning. i was in the hallway when it happened. our sweet little eldorado campus? how bizarre.

i got a new camera... an olympus. with the coolest strap ever. works perfect. got it at the thrift store. i've taken one photograph with her & it was of alex & his retainer...

right now i am at my grandmas house waiting here until 3 when my dentist appointment is. then at 4:30 i am going to assist with lisa taking a senior portrait up at the larson park behind my house. beautiful back there. this is my first photoshoot assisting with her! the last time i was at a photoshoot with lisa.. i was being shot! that was about... 5 years ago i think. time flies. day light savings is giving me a harder time than i thought it would.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

dosha - TO DO LIST #2

- accumulate merit

- keep criticisms to a minimum

- maintain integrity

- let opposition strengthen your resolve

- never expect to loose

- avoid eating between meals

- downsize, so that you can support your lifestyle with work you enjoy

- lie with your legs against a wall to unkink your mind & body

- live a humble life


- use what your have rather than buy new things

- own less

- let go of all content and you will be totally content (bernard gunther)

- safeguard your privacy

- give into neither passion nor sadness

- arrange to go on a hot-air balloon ride

- choose comfort over fashion

- change with the seasons

- express glee

- live with in your income

- empty yourself of greed and grasping desire, the root of all suffering

- make peace with the fact that some of the best people in your life are fallible, unreasonable and sometimes downright annoying.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

bis repetita placent :
the things that please are those that are asked for again and again

Friday, March 6, 2009

started parting my hair on the other side. because it looks nicer and makes more sense for some reason. i had dream that someone was wearing crocs & going to school with me. it reminded me of bryan & our croc jokes. i need to call bryan. fabulous bryan. dj bryanWest. i am wearing my folsom lake rescue education rally tShirt today. i will photograph it later. i am going to wear it for a week straight.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

the world and stars now pass us by
and lead us on to the divine
receiving love from everywhere
our fear dissolving into air.

how come i'm always waiting for something? i'm always saying "i cant wait until..." its funny. i'm just really impatient. but really, i can't wait until a lot of things. i need to just relax. its been pouring rain the past couple days, drenched. fresh and clean. i went to the thrift store today - got a couple neat things. two butterflies in frames. i left my other butterfly case in utah so i'll pick that back up when i go out to visit.. in 16 days. saturday from 5:30 till late i am busy on the 21st. garn shoot. can't give too many details about that away. one of those days i have to see natsilly & mikenna.

so obsessed with tagalongs lately. we have a box full of them. bad idea. i keep taking hundreds at a time. i've been working out like crazy lately too. i think i am just going in circles. i've been doing a lot of cardio to work out my legs. my legs are really the only thing that need work. where is everyone? lets talk and discuss lives. in the mean time, here are some tagalongs, a flyer for a rally in sacramento, and ... a cat in a bag