Tuesday, September 30, 2014

jam of the week:

i love a song that makes me vibe to it. i could dance to this all day. you bet your ass i'm blasting this

Friday, September 26, 2014

3 months until 2015. ummm.

I can't wait to move. 
I need some days off. 

I should plan that. 

It's raining outside. There was bolts of lightening all across the sky tonight. Haven't seen that type of activity here in a long time. It's strange how quickly the season shifted. It actually followed the changing of the equinox. & just like that, it's now:

chilly mornings 
dewy grass in the rising sun shine
geese flying south
my cat coming in from outside more often & cuddling with me,
the real & present actuality of impending rain storms
puzzles all of a sudden sound like a wonderful hobby
you notice that there is in fact fallen colored leaves on the ground
do i really have the proper footwear?
my birthday is so soon I can taste the pizza

fall is the season i was born into. i always have a connection with it. its a jolt to the skeleton, it rattles your bones. it abruptly lets you know it has arrived by sending that certain chill through your skin. you don't even know how it happened to change so quickly, right under your nose. you wonder, was summer this abrupt? you can never remember how other seasons begin. fall displays a spectacular show for us. i love all the seasons. thank the universe we have constant change. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

i want to empty my calendar days --------

Sunday, September 7, 2014

descriptive 2

you have a gut. you are weak and boring. you hang out with people younger than you because you can't find friends your own age who condone your bullshit slacker behavior, so you find people who make you feel like it's okay. 

you shape yourself to be something you're not, in order to get something you don't deserve. 

i wouldn't even flinch if something bad happened to you. cause i actually, truly, really, literally... 
don't care.

Wednesday, September 3, 2014


i'm sitting here. at my antique desk, wearing a tshirt with an old school locomotive on it. listening to some latin music on Rdio. supposed to be working on some photos. but haven't been in the mood quite yet. just wanting to read. but reading puts me to sleep. what a cycle. 

i have so many things. stuff is just everywhere. its not garbage and ugly stuff. its things. audra said the other day, that she could just sit and go through and look at every little thing. i wonder if someday someone will go through my things and admire them and appreciate them the way i do. i haven't gone through and appreciated everything lately. my art pieces all have meaning. they aren't just bought because i like them. they are gifts from others i've had framed. they are paintings someone has done for me. pictures that remind me of places i've left traces of my soul. i decided this about my art pieces  i'd have about a year ago. except, i'll never forget my one painting that i loved so much.

i'll explain it. 
it was yellow based, as if it were the early evening, bright sun and golden light. it was a view through moroccan arches in a street scape. a woman and a child were walking away down a path, just past two of the arches. she was wearing red & turquoise and had black hair. she was carrying a basket and had a thick dark purple ribbon around her waist. it was so simple. it was perfect in my eyes. however, i threw it away in utah. because someone i was living with didn't appreciate it or understand why i loved it so much. i regret my choice to give into someone else's lack of understanding. never again. i will search the world for another painting like it, that will strike me in that way. 
whenever i see moroccan or indian arches, i just get this unexplainable nostalgic feeling. 

i found this painting that i love. its similar to the one i used to have

Morocco Marrakech Riad of Denise MASSON

Surely this must be an ancient proverb: if the situation is killing you, get the hell out.