Monday, July 14, 2014

one person show

"she is the intuition, she is the far-seer, she is the deep listener, she is loyal heart. she encourages humans to remain multilingual; fluent in the languages of dreams, passion, and poetry. she whispers from night dreams, she leaves behind on the terrain of a woman's soul a coarse hair and muddy footprints. 

she is ideas, feelings, urges, and memory. she has been lost and half forgotten for a long, long time. she is the source, the light, the night, the dark, and the daybreak. she is the smell of good mud and the back leg of a fox. the birds which tell us secrets belong to her. she is the voice that says "this way, this way"

she is the one who thunders after injustice. she is the one who turns like a great wheel. she is the maker of cycles. she is the one we leave home for. she is the one we come home to. she is the mucky root of all women. she is the things that keep us going when we think we're done for. she is the incubator of raw little ideas and deals. she is the mind which thinks us, we are the thoughts that she thinks." - clarissa pinkola estés

photo by zach bresnick

Monday, July 7, 2014


All I can think about is cookies.
I've been a cookie fiend my whole life. 
I'm just so in love with them. The idea of a cookie is so brilliant. All small and perfect.

I've been without a cookie for quite sometime. But over the weekend I saw some Keebler cookies with m&ms and some Chessmen cookies. GAME OVER. I ate them all.
Now what? 

All I can think about is cookies. I'm debating right this second whether or not to run to the store to get lemon cookies. I'm having a hard time. 
Because I don't want to be fat and have gross fat legs and fat fat fat. But, god cookies are so damn good. 

Brb. Gotta go get lemon cookies.

Sunday, July 6, 2014

topless & barefoot

i want to float in dark cool waters just like that.
i want to bask in the sun just like that.
i want to drift in clear bright blue waters just like that.
i want to melt onto cool soft sheets with the fan swirling just like that.
i want to drape myself over the edge just like that

i want to feel

just like that

Friday, July 4, 2014

i feel rare

the essence
absolute value
summum bonum
experiencing reality
mathematical thought
intuitive understanding
detachment from illusion
discovery of an arrangement
way beyond conscious control
natural capacity of intellect
observable phenomenons
laugh to relax the mind
wisdom of a daily life
innovative creation
essence of desire
own actions

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

i feel compelled

i want(need) someone to come steal me.
i've had about enough. 

Tuesday, July 1, 2014


I went to San Francisco again this past weekend. I hadn't been since January when I had a Gatsby style weekend with my girl friend Erin. Dang we had fun. If I could do that weekend over again, I would do two things differently: 1. I would have worn sequin tops. 2. Put more flowers on the deck.
I'll have to let her know about my revisions and see if she's down to do it all over again. We even got Cafe XO breakfast delivered to us in bed by PostMates. 

But this most recent weekend was of course a whole other arena of fun. Since, World Cup is on. I strolled into town at some point, after staying the night in Sacramento with Jackie. Jackie and I went and got some Mexican food and had blackberry margaritas. And by that I mean it was practically just tequila with a giant blackberry floating in it. WHOA, whew that was strong. Then we went to get a glass of wine. We sat outside and I probably cussed too loudly and other people probably noticed. I have bad habits. Whatever. It was a lovely evening out with my girl! Oh yeah, but San Francisco. 
I met up with Zach and we drank while watching the game. Afterward we went to Sutro Bath ruins. It is SUCH a weird place. jeeeeesus. It's really so strange. He let me take his photo there. 

I went to dinner with Meg & Adrienne and we had a lovely meal. Then we went back to her place and drank a little bit and enjoyed ourselves. I love them.

then Meg & I went "home" and crashed early. Giggled for a bit in the dark, of course. As we girls do. About how we are grandmas, going to bed early on a Saturday. How we've done that pretty much every single time. And how we don't care because we like sleep WAY more than anything else the night may have to offer in the city. She's a great friend.

Woke up, went and got myself from of my favorite breakfast from Cafe XO. I don't even know why I like it so much. It just tastes good. It reminds me of Kate and Tim. We were the best team ever. I miss them. I watched the Mexico v Holland game. Mexico lost, of course. All the teams I root for lose. So strange. Then I sat on the back deck with Meg and got a really weird tan line. I watched her eat her salad that had flowers in it. I had to take a photo when it was on the counter before she ate it.

Then I went and hung out with Zach again! He's sorta the best. He laughs at my bad jokes. We went and watched Costa Rica v Greece at this cool food park thing. He told me what it was called, and I don't remember. Its basically a bunch of food carts surrounding TVs and seating. He snagged us some prime seats inside a big gazebo and we watched the game unfold. Naturally, the team I was rooting for lost. Blah blah... But it was so fun anyway. Then we had time to kill, so we watched the Lego movie. HAHA. It was so ridiculous. We watched the entire thing. Ordered pizza. Headed out to go support our friend Connor who is in the hospital trying to combat a pretty nasty case of pneumonia. The worst. I worry about him. He'll be okay. Sad. 
Then it was time for me to hit the ol' dusty trail.... Headed back up the hill to my safe perch. Overlooking everything and viewing it all from a safe distance. I love it up here but I would rather be in San Francisco right now. Probably because I had so much fun, I just wanna keep having more fun. I guess Zach just gets it. 

My fat cat Anouk is waiting for me to go to bed. I'm almost done. 
I want to know where to find wild blueberries? How do I not know? I love blueberries. I just inhaled probably way too many just now. I couldn't stop. I'll add that to my list of things to do. 
- Find wild blueberries
- Eat wild blueberries
- Be satisfied

I also really need this happy blueberry thing: