"We accept the love we think we deserve" ....
K well, I deserve a stoic badass with a sweet side and an understanding nature.
Mentally, I am worn down. Emotionally, I am nearly dissolved. Physically, I am showing signs of distress. Over all, psychologically, I am nearly defeated.
Currently craving a love and a life filled with a companion. But knowing so deep in the back of my mind that I will never have what others have. I will always be the black sheep. My level of living is far different than everyone else around me. All I wanted was a normal happy life.
Yet I day dream about traveling around the world, wearing mostly white & having my hair curled. Meeting others who appreciate me on my journey through my one and only life. & I appreciating them in return. I dream about being comfortable enough in my own skin that I could lay naked in a hammock & fall asleep with out worry. I dream about having my own family, so I'll never be with out love in some form. I dream about someone to hold my hands when they are cold.
My dreams are so beyond reach that I wonder if I am just settling. Repeating over and over to myself, that: you get one life, you're only young once, don't fuck it all up, don't hesitate, it doesn't matter what you have - it's all how you treat people & how they remember you.
Once your dead and gone, the only thing they will remember you by is your genuine interaction & love given out.
Hard to be the way you wish, when you're always busy being the way you "have to be" for your life to be sorta kinda comfortable for a short amount of time.
Don't play games.