lately , ive been really lost in my own life.
i don't know what i am supposed to do.
i'm only 22. but i feel like i should know by now.
i feel like i was meant for something really great.
meant to help people & be significant and looked up to.
but i have done nothing to accomplish that.
no one looks up to me. i have nothing to show for my life really.
i just get by on the minimal & i guess i just hope one day something will present itself to me.
but thats kind of a dumb way to live life.
because expecting things to happen, or hoping for things to happen ..
just means nothing will ever happen.
but i don't know how to do things. i don't know what to do.
i'm not really good at anything.
i don't have any schooling under my belt besides my Bachelors degree in Alternative Systems of Medicine & some of my Herb schooling.
i just don't know.
my life isn't simple.
& i don't know where i'm headed
or where i'm supposed to be right now.
i have a list of things that have always held my interest
however, i have yet to come up with some kind of life path to incorporate at least some of these things.
wait , i have yet to come up with a path that incorporates ANY of these things.
something to make a LIVING from.
something easy. i am a hard worker. but i dont want to have to feel like i am working hard at whatever i am doing. whatever i am to do in life needs to be something i enjoy and seems to come effortlessly.
is that asking too much?
i don't think so.
its my life
im the one who is going to be living it
and i think my standards are reasonable.
but i just ... don't know where to go.
what can i do?
i have no money to even begin with.
i have no inkling of where to even start.
what if i choose something & it turns out to be wrong?
then i have to start over..
i get discouraged so easily.
i wish i knew.
i am really interested in native americans too.
& stones & gems.
reading & writing.
ive been told i should write a book. by so many people.
but what could i write a book about?
i can't write fiction.
i strictly write truth.
but what could i write truthfully about?
it would have to be my own thoughts on things in life
advice maybe. ways to view situations. to view people.
i am so good at helping others
but i am absolutely horrible at helping myself.
& excepting help is another thing i am not so good at .
summer time really opens my mind
good & bad thing
because here i am now
festering in my own thoughts.
about what the hell i'm supposed to do
where i'm supposed to go
who i'm supposed to help
when i'm supposed to do it all
why i'm so stuck & lost
does anyone feel this way?
because i look "around" & i see that everyone seems so content.
no one seems THAT restless -
no one seems too worried about the future
i don't want to be in the same place i am now
just getting by on a normal average life
because thats not what i'm here for.
does anyone read this?
this is one of those posts that i hope a lot of people respond to
because i actually need some kind of help
or at least a thought on the matter.
some "wisdom" . some insight
anything. i don't care who you are
because i think everyone has something great to say
so maybe you could say it to me
and make my whole day
or , in this case
my whole life