its been a while

i'm opening my blog back up to the public. after an incredibly nice email i received this week from someone who appreciated my blog years ago, i decided if i can inspire people via my blog, i should continue to do it. right? her saying something to me after all this time is stuck in my mind. in that good place of your mind that all the sweetest and most treasured things you choose to remember stay. a little secret stash of galvanizing memories. 

so here i am. i'm not as exciting as i used to be, growing up and all that... 

but i'll try. 

i've been moving at full speed. but i feel like i've been in the exact same spot for a long time. and i have. i hate when that happens. i always talk about doing things and these dreams i have. but i have always had the hardest time looking into the future and taking the right steps into the future. i just stumble into the future with lack of grace and zero refinement. 

and i can acknowledge that and still manage to keep doing it over and over again. sheesh. 

big christmas party tomorrow. 

i can't wait for christmas to be over. 

i can't wait for the new year. i feel like you can start fresh in the new year. its stupid. i should start whenever i want. maybe its just me buying myself time? 

anyway, bang bang. here i am again