i feel rare

soul

travel

energy

tolerance

the essence

absolute value

summum bonum

experiencing reality

mathematical thought

intuitive understanding

detachment from illusion

discovery of an arrangement

way beyond conscious control

natural capacity of intellect

observable phenomenons

laugh to relax the mind

wisdom of a daily life

innovative creation

essence of desire

enlightenment

interpersonal

own actions

surviving

virtue

free

my favorite shape

i kind of fell out of the blog writing groove

i used to be kinda okay at it

and now whenever i get on here im like, 

well shit. what am i supposed to say? 

i guess i'll just ramble on about random junk and hope that captures your attention.

ive been painting my nails dark lately. black is my new favorite. 

i've also started a new book written by Queen Noor... she is such a badass. i need to read about Rania next. 

i am so captivated by real life princesses & queens. 

i seriously day dream about being a queen. 

i mean. i AM a queen.

im the queen of everything. 

my name "cassandra" loosely translates into "queen of everything" in arabic. 

which is perfect since i am also obsessed with arabic culture.

okay but really. thats just urban dictionary. 

they told me that.

but who am i to disagree? 

it sounds legit to me ... 

i think i'll buy a tiara. 

i love a good pen. 

i just recently stole a pen that writes pink. 

i never need to write anything tho. maybe if i would attend college again i would have a reason to write

but college sounds so.... 

FUCK. 

you know? 

i dont know if i can handle that kind of stress again. 

it did give me an ulcer once upon a time. that was painful and really sucked. 

plus i dont know what i want to do anymore. i thought i knew . a long time ago. 

i have my bachelors in alternative systems of medicine. but i dont use it . nor do i care to 

i want to work with kids. and be the boss. 

and i also want to be fabulous.

i have such good priorities. 

i blame it on social media. 

i wish i had better discipline. 

ive seriously said that a million times

i dont know how im supposed to control my bullshit 

when i override myself all the time. 

cassie dont eat that

screw it, dont eat it next time

have all you want right now

then i hate myself afterward

im such an asshole. 

i mean common

youre 24 this year and you eat like youre a 7 year old. 

you cant eat cookies and bullshit and act like it doesnt affect you 

youre getting ugly. people are starting to notice 

if you actually put a box of chocolate chip cookies in front of me 

I WILL DESTROY THEM. 

i am freaking out right now just talking about them. 

carrots. 

damn it. 

well i guess i should go now

i need to go find a snack.

something that wont add to the mass i have clinging desperately to my bones. 

shiiiiiiit. im such a girl right now. 

dont tell me to eat celery. 

i hate the stuff. 

oh yeah, anyone can comment my blog

you dont need an account to do it

so tell me a chocolate chip cookie i can eat with out feeling guilty.

please. 

where you going?

whats the rush? 

everyone is frantic to be with someone. 

to be someones something. 

never satisfied with yourself unless you have someone else to be satisfied with you.

never give yourself a break. rush rush rush. hurry and get a partner. 

what? before they are all gone? do we have a low abundance of people or something? 

are we running out of time? 

i didnt get the memo... 

yet somehow i seem to be just fine with that.

most days.

all my friends have boyfriends. i dont get how they do that. 

maybe i'm just totally ruined, or maybe im too picky, or just a huge bitch

or all three

but almost every guy i meet i'm like "ew nope" 

its a terrible tragedy. 

i want my space. my time. to bond with people who are important to me. to nurture my spirit, my soul, my friendships and my life. as hard as it has been for me for the past year. the last thing i care about is "keeping my eyes peeled" for some one who is supposed to make me happy or whatever. hasnt worked at all in my past. my last two boyfriends were the most horrible things that ever happened to me. its a bit hard for me to be optimistic when thinking about myself in another abusive situation. which, for some reason i feel is just what im destined to deal with. which is completely disgusting. but hey, i guess i did their future girlfriends a favor. lets hope if they have girlfriends they dont beat them down verbally, cheat on them, use them and abuse them. bastards. warning to girls: REVIEW THE FELLAS PAST RELATIONSHIPS BEFORE PROCEEDING. you might change your mind and save yourself some serious life. 

the only reason im venting about this is because its like... summer love season... its like everyones got that longing in their eyes. i just dont even give a shit. maybe im just being bitter because no one likes me. ever at all. im too damaged or something. at least i'm happy.

whatever

"good people and bad people cannot exist in any unison. therefore they must split. in doing so the lines are drawn and the truth is revealed about which of those people you are"

i'm glad i am the good person and my ex is with out a doubt the bad. 

i had to vent and get that off my chest. couldnt keep it to myself. i would have exploded. 

i just want to make it clear - i dont hate, dislike or resent anyone in a relationship. it really doesnt bother me at all. i just have this cool thing about me where i just dont care about stuff. really tho.

i need to leave this place... 

too bad i didnt throw a killer look in the right direction. 

after being in a relationship, we need time for ourselves. time of rest. extended time to heal. time for our souls to catch up to us after the whirlwind of heartbreak, anger, sadness and separation. our souls got disconnected. mine still hasnt made its way back, im trying to coax it back to me. id be afraid to come back after that storm. some people, however, i believe dont even have souls. and they will never be happy, feel love or be good. ever.

lying there she made a promise that one day she'd run and find just the man she was looking for 

well she fell in love with that son of a gun, but he was not the man she took him for. 

well he came to town, he came rambling in on a great cloud of dust carried by the wind, oh it wasn't long before he pulled her in and he asked her to come run away with him

he saw a pretty young girl who was ready to run, and she saw the chance she was looking for. 

they headed out west , driving into the sun, and he promised her she was the only one

well, he was a thief and he'd steal just for fun, he'd g cruising around with his little gun ... 

jack of all trades

song of the week ... i just adore this. 

im a jack of all trades

ive always known this about myself 

but hearing someone else say they know that about me 

was like, letting me know that the way i am is okay. 

i got myself a pocket moleskine . 

my therapist told me i should write more. 

for a few reasons. one being that i forget everything. 

so writing my thoughts down will help. 

and second, its my way of expression. of getting it "off my chest" . 

everyone has their own form of expression... art... verbal... writing... whatever. 

mine is personally writing. ive always had a way with words. 

and i do like photography too obviously, but i never knew i was good at it until it was my job for 2 years. 

but ive always known i was good with words. 

but damn it. here i go... rambling... 

im updating my ipod tonight. i got super sick of everything on mine so im freshening up a bit. i posted that nice little number up top that i am fully obsessed with. i just cant stop listening. i'l try to put up a song with each blog post. i dont know if anyone listens to the songs i post, but at least it'll make the blog a little more interesting right? 

i did indigo eye liner today... took a photo of it.

but i still wish i had my old nikon. maybe the next camera i get will be a nice canon or something. i think i want to try canon this time around. with a 50 1.4 .. of course. 

have a good night 

my love for christopher walken has just grew by 1000. 

son of a gun

he came to town , he came in rambling in on a great cloud of dust carried by the wind....




she fell in love with that son of a gun......
but he was not the  man she took him for. 

etsy

my etsy :

sold items to ....

5 different countries
21 different states
81 different cities
and....
lots and lots of amazing , people that i am so so grateful toward !

with out all my beautiful, supportive (& not to mention tasteful, obviously) customers
i wouldn't be able to continue doing what i LOVE !
i know i've been so slacking and falling behind on updating my shop
but i promise i'll get better at giving you all what you want. (which lately, seems to be rainbow items... i dig your styles... i love rainbows too)

i'm pretty proud of myself
i've been open since 2008
but but i've only been heavily listing/selling since 2010
i was very inactive from 2008-2010
so im very pleased with my work and so thankful toward those who have helped me
(thanks to Cal Collins who made my most recent banner)

just so satisfied right now.

MY ETSY 

CINNAMONNYMPH

surprise....

got this secret surprise in the mail yesterday ::

charlie knows the way to my heart...

surprises... packages in the mail... and books. 

i love him.

thanks charlie ... 

see you at our usual spot, park cafe. 

as of lately ::

the beat of the week ~~

so here i am.

busy as a bee.

work 7 days a week.

at the office on days . coffee on weekends.

herb school, friends, family, cleaning, etsy & cuddlin my cat in the time i have left over.

money saving. car fixing. school planning. music finding. pumpkin craving. thrift shopping. healthy eating. positive step taking.

i'm also getting glasses ! because i actually need them. i always knew i did. they are ... so perfect for me. can't wait to show them off. the perks of working at an optometrist office. i do exams on people & all that fun stuff. it really is fun, i'm not being sarcastic. i love my job.

last weekend my great pal brooke & i decided to be tourists in our own town: Camino aka Apple Hill. it was probably the best idea we've ever had. because it was the best day ever. we went to Kids Inc for their delicious pies for breakfast. then we dinked around at various other farms & got ourselves some souvenirs . we then decided to go to Boeger Winery for some wine tasting & a bottle of Boeger Hangtown Gold on the grass for brunch. delicious & peaceful!

Then we went to some other farms & decided to hit up good ol' Jack Russell Brewery because they had tents & live music... nice nice. we decided to each get a hotdog .. (brooke got veggie) & it was so delicious. we watched a man blow glass with special glasses .

then our last stop was Argyres Orchards for face painting! we decided it was a must. Brooke got lady bugs & bumble bees with vines & i got a unicorn & star bursts. so awesome.

all in all... it was a spectacular day.

LOVE !

anouk

i love my cat Anouk.

she hates when i travel , but she loves laying on my suitcase

holding it open for me to pack

instead of laying on the blankets i had on the ground

she decides the hiking backpack would be more comfortable...??

she has to be right in the middle of everything & lay on all my things

she cracks me up so much.

i love how much my cat loves me.

she is obsessed with me and i am obsessed with her......

true love

haha!

she

Roux Skei

so my kitten Roux has been missing for exactly a week today - very very very sad. i've been stressed out & depressed for a whole week about it. she is only 10 months old. she is my best friend. i call for her every day multiple times. i posted up LOST CAT fliers everywhere, i asked every single neighbor, i went searching for her, called & checked in at each animal shelter/pound .... nothing.

two of my friends who are animal intuitive's have been giving me feedback & yesterday they both felt that roux was at peace and no longer alive....

super super sad. and i hope its not true. i miss her so much.

she was my 22nd birthday present. i looked for an entire week at tons of ads for kittens and i picked HER! my little tiny, semi-cross eyed, kind of retarded, fearless, playful, LOUD, mischievous, random, hilarious, bent whiskered kitty ROUX SKEI. i love her so much ! please send the best vibes you can spare to give me to have my baby kitten come back home to me!

4th of july weekend

summer time ~

me 'n my main girl

i'm bad at blogging.

not much to say it seems.. i don't know whats significant enough to write. i've been in utah for almost 2 weeks. just got back to california. having two homes is rough. i love utah & california so much. so different from each other. i need more friends in utah tho. because i have so many friends in california and i love having friends over and meeting up with them etc. i need that in utah too. i'm tired .

i'm craving salmon . & i want to go kayaking .

OH !! hey .... went on a hot air balloon ride this weekend! it was incredible ! i loved it sooooo much , it was beautiful. we took some photos , as best we could. but i was so happy to do this! everyone knows its been one of my dreams to do it. it was everything i expected. peaceful, beautiful, thrilling, FUN, & lovely.

me & mitch

after landing , deflating the balloon

the view from the air over park city with

another hot air balloon in the distance

i miss utah . cant wait to head back. WISH ME LUCK.

this is a huge blog post . its HOT in california. am i ready for summer ? i hope.

southern california vacation

so i got back from my 7 day vacation with my boy & girl - mitch & payton. we stayed at mitch's sisters house with her family . they are so wonderful and welcoming! i really loved it. we went to the beach, universal studios, disneyland and did so many other fun things. it was such a sweet fun filled vacation and i am so happy. i love my little family so much ! here are some photos from the trip ...

first day at the beach

mitch & i's date day - went to olvera street

roller blading champions ....

we went to universal studios too

super cheesey photo of us in front of the universal studios globe

payton & i laughing because we were tickling

disneyland ! she was tired at first... so no smiles.

but once we got into the park she was so excited !

her "1st visit" pin !

(that i had to wear all day because she didn't like how big it was)

she loved meeting minnie

& ariel of course

pay , dad & cheshire cat

she loved her cotton candy ...

and we shared ! perfect way to end the disneyland experience !

but now that i'm back here in northern california, my body is sore, my back hurts, my mind is restless and i miss the guts outta payton & mitch ! its sad. can't wait to go back to utah... *sigh*

these are my favorite smells & products right now.

john freida eucalyptus root awakening

verbena pre de provence soap

lemon drop eos chapstick

softsoap sheabutter & cocoa beads

why am i posting this? because i'm bored and obsessed with these smells.