i feel rare

soul

travel

energy

tolerance

the essence

absolute value

summum bonum

experiencing reality

mathematical thought

intuitive understanding

detachment from illusion

discovery of an arrangement

way beyond conscious control

natural capacity of intellect

observable phenomenons

laugh to relax the mind

wisdom of a daily life

innovative creation

essence of desire

enlightenment

interpersonal

own actions

surviving

virtue

free

crappy day

I used to get inspired by the internet so well, years ago. I had folders of folders of strange photos and odd words. I still have many of them. I used to type in words on google and scan through the images. People would ask me where I found these things, I didn't actually know. I just browsed enough. But my system of browsing has become overrun and old news. Strange how your strange skills and hobbies seem to fade as years pass. 

oh well, what can you do? make lists. 

go to bed early. listen to some music that includes a banjo. curl up in a pile of blankets. think about seaweed and rice. think about some good books. ponder the movie "homeward bound". what happened to all my chapsticks? remember roux. look at the strange things you've collected in life. decide on breakfast. turn on that salt lamp. its okay to eat pasta. you have too many suitcases and bags. listen for the coyotes at night. be done.

i guess that crystals are beneath me...

seriously loosing my mind again.
i dont really even know what im looking for or expecting.

i just want what i want.
its that simple.
i want to travel. i want to live in hawaii. i want to learn spanish.
and french. i want to loose weight. i want longer hair. i want friends.
i want to sell everything. i want to watch movies. i want go to sleep.


but for some reason , all of the above... seems impossible.

traveling? HAHA. sure cassie. with what money and what time?

hawaii? yeah okay. see above

spanish? french? when the hell do you think you'll have time to learn it, let alone REMEMBER IT.

loose weight? yeah then stop eating. what? jesus christ.

longer hair. unattainable. ive been trying. and its not getting long like it used to be

friends? how can i have friends when everyone in this god for saken town is set on hating me and excluding me and ignoring me ? i dont get what i did. i just dont understand anything.

sell everything.. who wants junk? anyone? anyone? bueller?

watch movies. time? whats that?

sleep? you have too much to do. but what do you have to show for it?



someone please help me.
or wait dont.
everyone who tries to help me wants something in return. or something. i dont know.
maybe just leave me alone and stop being mean to me.


NOTHING ELSE MAKES AS MUCH SENSE AS THIS
SO I WILL CONTINUE ON MY MISSION WITH THE RISK, TO BE FREE. 

a list of things

i love making lists.

here are some things i want to do.
and want. blah blah blah. want want want.
need need need.



. to eat better
. be nice
. travel to hawaii, costa rica, europe, anywhere i wanna go
because its gonna happen and i'm gonna find what i'm looking for.
. save money
. try snowboarding , since i have all the right gear.
. run more
. wash my face every night
. send more mail
. leave it in the past and forget about it <--- now
. sell those sorel boots, you wont need them where you're headed.
. wear those coach glasses more
. update your etsy as much as possible ! :: http://www.etsy.com/shop/cinnamonnymph
. encourage all women to be friendly to each other
. be friendly to all women
. eat more quinoa
. READ MORE
. figure out what you want to do with yourself
. study birds
. go to mexico and swim with whales
. stop having horrible car luck (thanks dad, somehow luck can be genetic)
. christmas cookie candle ...
. work out , run stairs, get babe'n
. keep trying on the new bikini ... for motivation of course
. post more photos
. blog more . its fun to look back on what i said

i wish i could tell my cat to turn on the fan

what do i want to do/ ?

EVERYTHING .

i want to tie something cool to a balloon & let it go . let it flyyyy up high into the world sky . and maybe hopefully make someones day , when they find my special thing . maybe attach a $1 dollar bill to it? or a random trinket. something neat. can't decide.

i want to C U T M Y H A I R . up to my chin and get bangs.

because im tired of long hair . & everyone has long hair. its generic. boring. trendy. usual. kind of feel weird being just. like. everyone. else.

maybe soon . november i'll cut it. hold me to it....

some new clothes & shoes. whats a girl gotta do to own a pair of NEW items? why is everything so damn expensive ? whats the world coming to? i think i need to take sewing classes & simply make my own clothes because this shit's gettin RIDICULOUS. but i did just purchase probably the most appropriate tank top of my life. :::

skydiving.

oh hey . im doing that tomorrow. holy crap?

i want to have all my girlfriends get together and have a gathering. a themed gathering. i missed the gypsy gathering and the witchy gathering. i think .... OLD WEST themed. i dig it. i can bring props too. who is down? who would attend ? too bad we cant do it tonight. the full moon.

who saw that meteor shower last night? i sure didn't . i was sleepin.

my car to WOR K. as much as i love the van ... i do not love its gas tank. & i would love to have my subaru back, the junky, reliable, cheap, spacious, ..... my own . i miss being able to do certain things in it. to go certain places. blah. don't hate what you got , cause when its gone you'll wish it back daily.

got new stuff on my etsy ::: CHECK IT OUT !

ETSY - cinnamonnymph

things i want to do in this life :

* skydiving - doing it on the 13th this month!

* swim with sharks .. maybe thats a long shot.

* scuba!

* ride a mule down the grand canyon

* hot air balloon ride ... again. i went in june & it was glorious

* cut my hair really short.. or shave it.

* own a chinchilla

* make my own set of dishes/mugs -- pottery

* learn french AND spanish

* fall in a deep love.

* go sailing

* see a rainforest

* avoid being bitten by a botfly... ew

* go fishing in the ocean... catch my own food

* write something... a book.. like that

* go to disneyWORLD.

* ride an elephant !!!!

listttttTTt

got a good idea from this neat blog :: MEALS&moves

so i think i'll practice the 10 things i liked today post. since i need to remember positives instead of negatives lately.

10 things i liked about toady:

1. found my new favorite drink == iced coffee w/ cream & 2 shots of vanilla. craving it now.

2. bean tacos with lettuce

3. laughing so hard with my bro & sis .

4. i finally did my make up today, it looked nice.

5. make appointments , responsible.

6. made my sweet mother a peach smoothie

7. what

8. jackies ears

9. sending mail

10. ran good errands before work

grateful

grateful ::

asparagus & strawberries

forgiveness

family

my cats

nail polish. new color each week...

hot tea

hair ties

humor

people who get humor

the positive

cartoon bandaids (the only kind people should wear)

words of wisdom

day dreaming

mexican food!!!

soft sweaters

sunny days, sunshine

laughs.....

yogurt

sparkles

hair dye

flowers

sweets

black

great images

* cut my finger tip with scissors today . lots of blood & bandages.

* goin on a train ride to utah this week !

* drinking so much tea each day

* busy day tomorrow .. crunch time

* taxes...? ew.....

* what is a good movie i should rent?

* i'm pretty tired of snow

* strawberries

* does anyone read my blog? i get no comments

* i need to work out a lot more

* just saw a commercial saying the new Audi A8 is here... perfect timing! i'll take it !

* i need a new wardrobe

* i wear mostly black, grey & white. sometimes random bursts of color.

* i have carpal tunnel again . in my left wrist

* i'm too tired for this

autumn

l'automne est dans l'air.

its true. autumn is in the air. its "brisk" at night (as mitch puts it) & crisp in the mornings. and actually the whole today today is really cool and breezy. its nice. it just feels so fresh. i want to make sour cream apple bars but i'm going to wait for a special sort of occasion to make them instead of just randomly.

i wanted to go on a sweet little romantic hot air balloon ride just me & mitch but its freaking costs an arm & a leg for just one person to ride for an hour... totally sucks. oh well. maybe one day.

whenever fall comes around i like having little fall accents around the house because it makes me feel cozy & reminds me that its time for :

- warm food

- sweaters

- cuddles under blankets

- trips up to the canyons to see the fall colors

- beanies

- boots

- seeing your breath when you walk outside

- the heater & the fireplace

- yummy treats likes apple pie

- puzzles

- socks

- family

- soooup! chilli. minestrone stew.

- snuggles.

all the good stuff.

oh pumpkin carving. duh.

oh i was telling mitch how i'd love to grow pumpkins.. maybe one day.

i enjoy ....

- hula hooping - traveling - painting my finger nails different colors - reading - belly dancing - laughing - kayaking - eating treats - getting things in the mail - summer time - lots of candles - local brews & vines - bare feet - hot airballons - black beans (cold) - mitch's shirts - DESSERT! - really good hikes - bodies of water - paytons new dress & dream catcher - festivals - groovin to the beat - mitches tattoos - feathers / feather finding - frisbee - iced coffee - ANOUK ! - day dreaming - driving - bbqs - riverDAZE. - eating outside - sleeping outside on the lawn on quilts - campfire .. - the smell of campfire hair - taking pictures of good things - fruit - farmers market - rainbows - *********** - unicorns - mermaids - tyedye - good eats - loooooooooooove

can you feel the earth turn?

- honey
- bubbles
- warmth
- my bed
- my lost & newly found toe ring
- 8 more days !!
- laughing with my sister
- singing along
- open windows
- day #19 of no shampoo or conditioner
- postcards & letters
- california poppies
- local grown & home made
- pool tuesdays
- new butter dish



- lets boogie

a LIST.

- a winning scratch card
- scribbles on the calendar
- anticipation of a trip
- a mushroom shaped candle.
- a new room
- a new place to call my own
- a camera bag
- books
- something in the mail
- mermaid memorabilia
- mugs
- some prints 4x6
- feathers , with color.
- some new stamps on my passport
- a different number
- some nail polish that i actually enjoy
- electric outlet covers
- a new lamp shade
- some apples with peanut butter
- my tail bone is out of place forever
- day dream mind
- answers
- something good to come my way
- Luck?
- something to look forward to
- a change in direction
- a reply from India would be NICE.
- wealth
- whatever
- some love , some real love
- frequent flier miles
- a ring
- IDEAS for a creation
- thai food
- loke reunion part 2
- macbook pro
- a serious bike
- some sunglasses that won't break or get lost
- anouk to stop swatting at me
- another kitten
- maybe a lizard or snake
- a bottle of wine
- san fran with meg
- japan with other meg
- an island by myself
- a boat
- a different candle by my bed
- some more pictures with my friends
- a different kinda life.
- an ice cream sandwich
- some new halloween socks
- SHOES!
- a massage
- a zoom lens and a fish eye
- artwork
- summer sun
- soft blankets
- a new tyedye pillow case
- make some new curtains
- god damn it
- a new set of suitcases
- a hypnotist
- going to bed early
- i need to take more pictures
- national geographic dreamin
- a bed frame
- a HAMMOCK!!!
- a journal to write my stray thoughts in instead of using a facebook status
- oh brother
- Nice, France - angels
- some dentyne ice
- a board game
- a new bathing suit . hahaha for real tho
- bank account
- learn to carve wood
- learn to make pottery
- learn some more languages
- get rid of the bug on my wall






.......... wishin on a star.
& puttin some hard work in too.

about ME!

about me. does anyone know much about me here? besides the obvious stuff i post about. i don't really give any details or anything. i guess maybe i can talk about myself and tell you guys who i am and what i do. even tho a lot of you already know who i am - i'm cassie. lets start somewhere..

well. hi all - friends and strangers. lurkers and creepers. family - (hi mom!). lokes & jokes. welcome to my blogosphere. most people don't know much about me. i tend to keep it to myself besides what i spill out onto my blog from time to time. i can start with the basics and then get into the complicated parts then stumble awkwardly into some random tidbits. it'll be a fun adventure. i promise.

*um. first. i am 20. only 20. pretty young, when i feel so old. i am 5'2. 98 lbs.

*i am a full time student with a major in Bio-Science.

*i am a photographers assistant & i love my job. i work for a local photographer. not only do i do things behind the camera but i also do quite a bit in front of the camera -

*i model. i come across tall in photos i suppose.

*i live in one of the most beautiful places on earth: California. i live in the northern part of california & i'm right between South Lake Tahoe & Sacramento actually i live where gold was discovered.

* i live at home with my parents again.. i don't mind it. i love my family and hey .. having dinner ready on the table every night.. not so bad either.

* i lived in utah in 2008. Salt Lake City. it was an experience, i had a lot of fun.

* i have a seriously bad case of wanderlust. as much as i am a homebody i am constantly itching to move around and see things and travel to places.

*i love to drive. people love me to drive. i am a great driver. this i imagine ties into my wanderlust.

* i have a '98 subaru outback that i bought myself. its my baby and i love it. however i do want a brand new subaru outback.. but shh do not tell my car or it will probably die on me. again.

* i'm quite simplistic. i don't need much to be happy. i don't need the latest trends or the newest things to be fine with life. as long as what i have works and doesn't fall apart i'm good.

* i am an organizational clean freak. with MY things. i don't care if your stuff is a mess.

* i am very fond of miniature things. tiny sea shells, little buttons, beans, little boxes.

*i can have a bad attitude and i am very quick with comebacks.

* i am afraid of nothing. literally. nothing scares me. some things can surprise me or make me uncomfortable. but i'm never scared.

* said things that make me uncomfortable : water towers, long nails on boys & food that might be spicy.

* my favorite color on this day, is turquoise, but really i love all colors and can't pick a true favorite.

* i like to wear black. it just looks good.

* my eyes are green.

* i get compliments on my teeth A LOT.??

* i have 2 brothers and one sister. zac the oldest, me the second, miranda who is 15 and brogan who is 12.

* i am an "aroma therapy girl" as my mom calls me. it means i am all about the smells. i feel that the right smell can ease some ones life. candles and insense are essential. even goods being baked in the kitchen are necessary... invest in my belief of smells being a cure. spend some time on it.

* i love all foods. except the following: celery, soda, onions & sea urchin. everything else .. bring it on at me. im ready

* i am not good at math. i want to be. so i'll tell myself i am. {but i'm not}

* i am a cold blooded creature.. i get cold really easy & snow is not my element. i like to look at snow but being in it... i can handle snow i suppose. i just need the right gear. lots of it.

* i get along really well with just about anyone. when asked do i get along better with girls or boys.. i can't answer i just get along. simple as that.

* oh yeah, i don't put on a mask to please others. your gettin what you're seein. if you don't like it YOU can leave.. no one is keeping you here.

* i don't like people who complain... yet i am probably the biggest complainer, sometimes.

* i love meeting new people. i love friends. i love people (most of the time) and i love to read and watch other peoples lives. they fascinate me. i'm not a creep.

* i'm a joker. i'm sarcastic. i like to make people laugh. i just like to be happy.

* i like photographs & taking them. i own three old cameras. an olympus from the 80s, a dacoramatic .. super weird. & one that i can't remember the name of because my grandpa just gave it to me.

dosha - TO DO LIST #2

- accumulate merit

- keep criticisms to a minimum

- maintain integrity

- let opposition strengthen your resolve

- never expect to loose

- avoid eating between meals

- downsize, so that you can support your lifestyle with work you enjoy

- lie with your legs against a wall to unkink your mind & body

- live a humble life

- THERE ARE NO COINCIDENCES

- use what your have rather than buy new things

- own less

- let go of all content and you will be totally content (bernard gunther)

- safeguard your privacy

- give into neither passion nor sadness

- arrange to go on a hot-air balloon ride

- choose comfort over fashion

- change with the seasons

- express glee

- live with in your income

- empty yourself of greed and grasping desire, the root of all suffering

- make peace with the fact that some of the best people in your life are fallible, unreasonable and sometimes downright annoying.

to do list.

• don't laugh when some one makes a mistake.

• do not despise what you cannot have

• burn candles

• rugged individualism

• loosen your tendency to control

• embrace change

• outwardly go with the flow; inwardly keep your true nature

• keep a record of good things that happen

• determine to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope

• give yourself opportunities to replenish yourself

• choose how you react

• don't make anyone the butt of your humor

• bring awareness to the task of cleaning up

• be calm in the face of someone else's hysteria

• think for yourself

• he who knows he has enough is rich (lao-tzu)

• direct your future

• show affection

• make a list of things that have been bothering you; change what you can & forget the rest

• leave some things unsaid

• good things come from good habits

• exercise discretion

• the less you need the freer you become

• don't try to win the argument; just listen to it

• do not cause suffering to another

• share

• avoid sarcastic remarks

• brainstorm

• do what is right even when everyone else doesn't

• stop spending money frivolously

• have a love story that is still being written..

• know when you need help

• respond from a place of wisdom
  

• LET GO OF THE DESIRE TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

• banish negative thoughts about yourself

• tell the truth and expect the truth
  

favorite things : a list

• 
• i love to sleep. in my bed mainly. or somewhere so comfy.

• bread/toast with homemade jam
• good songs . i can't elaborate.
• corn bread - recent
• water , room temp normally. but sometimes i need the chilled.
• beehive & carluccis - anyways / always.
• ds lite - zelda
• fruit . fruit. fruit ... pineapple slices 
• c culture.
• science.
• detective work . i am an investigator
• MINOU
• france ... oh sigh
• the smell inside on the spine of my dads old books
• Dune
• cliff - peanut butter crunch
• my bed. i already sorta said that tho.
• warm tea, i hate cold tea.
• packing ,
• candles etc , i'm aromatherapy
• accents. there was a german man in my home this morning, from san diego. my dad & him spoke about cars & europe. i could listen to either of them read a phone book.
• nivea extra enriched lotion
• laughing till you cant breath / you start crying
• arranging things
• snail mail . packages /letters ... a best feeling.