i feel rare

soul

travel

energy

tolerance

the essence

absolute value

summum bonum

experiencing reality

mathematical thought

intuitive understanding

detachment from illusion

discovery of an arrangement

way beyond conscious control

natural capacity of intellect

observable phenomenons

laugh to relax the mind

wisdom of a daily life

innovative creation

essence of desire

enlightenment

interpersonal

own actions

surviving

virtue

free

looking for inspiration

i wonder how people find their "muse". or just their inspiration. how do you even inspire thoughts from every day things? i mean i know how you do, but how do you transform things differently to make them into something almost surreal? with out it being over the top or just plain ridiculous? think about it. people are creative. but i wonder where they really get it from. do their minds really just spit out clever ideas on a whim ? or do they find it someplace else? they'd never tell. no one tells their sources. mitch has a quote he likes and its "the secret to being successful is knowing how to hide your sources" . which is true. whether it be an actual source you are deriving your outcomes from or whether its your own mind - with infinite sources and combinations and ideas that are molded together inside the hidden places in your brain. its pretty wondrous to think about. i have been doing a lot of thinking today - not even sure if its considered creative.

just trying to think of clever, catching, captivating & clear ways to present an item to the world. its pretty difficult. since it seems as though the whole world has used up every idea you think about. think about that. yeah. but i know there are things that haven't been thought about. and i'm the one trying to think about them. & find them really..

some people are so clever. i wonder if i'm clever?

here are some clever things i've found :

here is a song that is inspiring to the mind ~ this is good if you have great speakers & excellent bass. listen to everything LOUD. or else.. why are you listening at all??

gardening

friday i went to anthonys house around 10. we did some watercolors in the yard. we also looked and cooed at the 5 new baby kittens that JanKy birthed last week. so little soft and cute. we named two so far - mud shake & smoosh. i can't wait to hold them. then when tiffany came over at 12 we started to rake & weed the herb garden spot on the hill. we didn't get far but its progress nonetheless. we plan on fixing up the yard real nice this summer.

i went on an hour bike ride with my sister. our legs hurt very bad. but it was worth it and we want to keep doing it more often. i also sorta got some stuff done on an analytical paper i'm writing.. but eh.. its really getting me down..


oh i also let anouk outside.. she loves it. she just prowls arond the garden where i am working at and sniffs stuff and gets spooked when the wind blows leaves around. its really cute. she likes to explore. i put lots of new tunes on my ipod today. i'm still not done tho. just taking a break.

now i'm just ending the day in a not so great mood. just really frusterated with life and squirmy from discomfort. discomfort from not having a whole lot of control over things and wanting to just give up. really irritated at the things that bind me. never satisfyed with what i am or what i have. difficulty getting over things. no end in sight. people who continue to keep giving me advice can just stop because i've heard it and i know. i can say those same things and sound like i know what i'm talking about but that doesnt make what is being said something "that simple" to do. i just want to get everything over with. i want to get out of here. why can't i just win the lotto or something. why is money always the root..



falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus

to do list.

• don't laugh when some one makes a mistake.

• do not despise what you cannot have

• burn candles

• rugged individualism

• loosen your tendency to control

• embrace change

• outwardly go with the flow; inwardly keep your true nature

• keep a record of good things that happen

• determine to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy, and hope

• give yourself opportunities to replenish yourself

• choose how you react

• don't make anyone the butt of your humor

• bring awareness to the task of cleaning up

• be calm in the face of someone else's hysteria

• think for yourself

• he who knows he has enough is rich (lao-tzu)

• direct your future

• show affection

• make a list of things that have been bothering you; change what you can & forget the rest

• leave some things unsaid

• good things come from good habits

• exercise discretion

• the less you need the freer you become

• don't try to win the argument; just listen to it

• do not cause suffering to another

• share

• avoid sarcastic remarks

• brainstorm

• do what is right even when everyone else doesn't

• stop spending money frivolously

• have a love story that is still being written..

• know when you need help

• respond from a place of wisdom
  

• LET GO OF THE DESIRE TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

• banish negative thoughts about yourself

• tell the truth and expect the truth