the world around me

when i look back on things i have taken photos of sometimes i am confused as to how i got that photo. luck i guess. i get really lucky with photos. thats one of the only things i get lucky with it seems. i always seem to be in the right place at the right time. and i need to share my photos more often. because i never know if they will be lost forever. 

today i am in another daze. nothing seems real and i feel like it is maybe 4 years in the past. my dreams keep convincing me that it is a different time. i dont know what to do with myself and i keep feeling stress, confusion, pressure and guilt creep around the corners and start to over whelm me again. 

i always thought i didn't get stressed. i mean, i dont. i dont really know why i can feel it now. i've never cared too much about anything entirely. except the things i dream about. time is moving slower for me today. for the first time in a year i think, or maybe even longer. but i cant remember my past too well anymore. 

maybe now i can lay in the grass and watch clouds. and do those simple weird things that people are able to do. go on a walk. i dont know. obviously i dont know, and didnt know. other wise i wouldnt be here now. i hope i can figure it out. i still feel empty.