plans...

i have no clue what to even write about

its all a scramble . 

i did go to tahoe last weekend with 7 girlfriends and we "partied" all weekend for jackies birthday. it was pretty fun. we got a VIP booth at Vex in Harveys , courtesy of jessica. it was great. never been to a club before. dancing is fun. we got lots of photos but i am not gonna post them all here cause just , no. too much work. but this is one of me and jackie that i like a lot 

oh, two more of my photos were featured on TAHOE.com blog. you can check them out here 

pretty pleased. i like having my 'work' featured on things. considering i dont even have my own dslr anymore.. i think im doin alright. i cant wait to have a camera again tho. one day... i'll save up all that cheese and buy myself somethin nice. refurb nikon d3 with my classic 50mm 1.4. why not... i set my sights high ... i may be short but i can always reach ...

im planning on moving to Oahu for sure. i talked to my soul sister of many years (how many has it been? i cant remember) about where and which island to move to... she thinks Oahu would be my vibe. so im just gonna go for it one day. im not worried. i want to move to england after hawaii. dramatic change. but ive always wanted to take advantage of my duel citizenship. and i dont want to move to france til i can speak it better. 

you guys like how long its taken me to decide what i want to do with my life? whatever. i started off with something and then along the way changed my mind and then started a life somewhere else so i got tied up with that... so many paths in life. 

anyway

here are two photos that have nothing to do with anything ive talked about 

me at wrights lake. 

crazy clouds. i couldnt get a good photo to express how strange they were. 

ethereal ~*

had a little fun today for a minute

we had to take care of some business and then on the way back we decided the weather and scenery was too perfect to pass up so we pulled over and got creative. i really love making ethereal photos. but realistic kinds... playing with common occurrences and warping them into something that seems magic.

tomorrow my dodgeball fantasy comes to life.... the game is really happening! be there at 6 - lyons park. bring your game face. 

the world around me

when i look back on things i have taken photos of sometimes i am confused as to how i got that photo. luck i guess. i get really lucky with photos. thats one of the only things i get lucky with it seems. i always seem to be in the right place at the right time. and i need to share my photos more often. because i never know if they will be lost forever. 

today i am in another daze. nothing seems real and i feel like it is maybe 4 years in the past. my dreams keep convincing me that it is a different time. i dont know what to do with myself and i keep feeling stress, confusion, pressure and guilt creep around the corners and start to over whelm me again. 

i always thought i didn't get stressed. i mean, i dont. i dont really know why i can feel it now. i've never cared too much about anything entirely. except the things i dream about. time is moving slower for me today. for the first time in a year i think, or maybe even longer. but i cant remember my past too well anymore. 

maybe now i can lay in the grass and watch clouds. and do those simple weird things that people are able to do. go on a walk. i dont know. obviously i dont know, and didnt know. other wise i wouldnt be here now. i hope i can figure it out. i still feel empty. 

imagine this

today i drove past some clouds laying low in the orchards. i wanted to pull over & touch them & walk in them. just to see if it felt any different. i regret not pulling over. but maybe i can do it again one day. i've always wanted to feel the clouds.

today it was damp, sprinkles of rain off & on, over cast, foggy.. but not that cold. i felt like i was in santa cruz. i swear i could smell the eucalyptus trees and everything. it felt like i was by the coast. i think i need to go down there. and pick up the eucalyptus bulbs again. wake up to those over cast ledges by the ocean. walk around in the towns. ride a bike. smell that air that is somehow so unique. walk thru those tall wind blown trees. a certain kind of momentary bliss.

yesterday the clouds were SO fluffy and full of character.. i was leaving wyatts apartment and i saw this scene ... tons of power lines in front of all those beautiful clouds and thought it was funky and pretty its in own way. i dont think i've ever mentioned how much i dispise power lines - they give me headaches whenever i am around too many (thats why i prefer mountain living) but this picture just looks COOL to me. this top one is just how it looked to my eyes and then the one right below it is and edited version , whatev.

yesterday i was hangin out with audra & jackie all day . we went down to Folsom and did some shopping.. i am such a boring person. all i got was two tank tops (black & grey) and two leggings (dark grey & light grey) seriously? why do i only buy dark colored clothing? whatever. i tried to find white tops, but they are either see-through or have too much bullshit going on .. like rhinestones or too much lace.. i should just make my own. sheesh. Audra & Jackie are two my oldest best friends... I invited our other best friend Michelle to come but she is such a busy bee these days its hard for all of us to get together... oh the struggles of getting older right?

i got a sweet letter from my soul sister Nell yesterday

it says "not all who wander are lost"

and she drew ME! isnt it amazing? i love it.

yesterday it was warm but breezy... then at night it SNOWED. what the heck?! california... so ridiculous. now today is clear and chilly. oooh the world is a crazy place.