obsessed with this. 

the world around me

when i look back on things i have taken photos of sometimes i am confused as to how i got that photo. luck i guess. i get really lucky with photos. thats one of the only things i get lucky with it seems. i always seem to be in the right place at the right time. and i need to share my photos more often. because i never know if they will be lost forever. 

today i am in another daze. nothing seems real and i feel like it is maybe 4 years in the past. my dreams keep convincing me that it is a different time. i dont know what to do with myself and i keep feeling stress, confusion, pressure and guilt creep around the corners and start to over whelm me again. 

i always thought i didn't get stressed. i mean, i dont. i dont really know why i can feel it now. i've never cared too much about anything entirely. except the things i dream about. time is moving slower for me today. for the first time in a year i think, or maybe even longer. but i cant remember my past too well anymore. 

maybe now i can lay in the grass and watch clouds. and do those simple weird things that people are able to do. go on a walk. i dont know. obviously i dont know, and didnt know. other wise i wouldnt be here now. i hope i can figure it out. i still feel empty. 

two songs i got for you 

im incredibly restless
im ready to go


i dont ever ever ever want to look back into my past
its worthless. i don't care what you say.

im giving away all my things
and selling them . trying to keep up my etsy for some income
my optician job is driving me up the wall
im tired of working full time
i'd rather be with kids

i want to get married. i feel old.
i want to travel
i feel like im growing roots in a place i dont want to be rooted to
how do i acquire so much stuff?
how do i get rid of clothes when i love them all so much?
being almost 24 is hard.
i think im ready to sell my snowboard and boots
i really dont think i'll ever realistically use it.
any takers?


i sound so negative
and unhappy

oh maybe because i am right now
its a beautiful place i live in
surrounded by awesome people and great friends
but
i just cant shake this feeling of needing..// wanting to leave

so i will send you here: MY ETSY
in hopes of any interweb stragglers who have come across my page
and read my cry for help
to purchase things from my site
to go toward the "get me the hell out of here" fund


but
i need to upkeep this blog more
because it is a good way to look back on my life
even tho ... wait wait.
didnt i just say i dont want to look into my past?
god i cant keep up with myself



some one save me
(prince harry, im talkin to you)



completely ready to voyage to new places and try new things and get out and leave.

and totally warped, twisted, unreal and disconnected. 

how did i end up here? 

WE ARE TRAVELERS ON A COSMIC JOURNEY, STARDUST, SWIRLING AND DANCING IN THE EDDIES AND WHIRLPOOLS OF INFINITY. LIFE IS ETERNAL. WE HAVE STOPPED FOR A MOMENT TO ENCOUNTER EACH OTHER, TO MEET, TO LOVE, TO SHARE. THIS IS A PRECIOUS MOMENT. IT IS A LITTLE PARENTHESIS IN ETERNITY.

Paula Coelho, The Alchemist

my love for christopher walken has just grew by 1000. 

the days are getting longer 

that could be an advantage or disadvantage. 

i don't know where i stand yet. 

all i know is that i am ready to fall down the rabbit hole again