my friend michelle reminded me about this today:
http://www.wanderlustfestival.com/

i am interested in going. however the likeliness of it... low. oh well. at least its only 2/3 hours away so i can go on my own time. i am craving scotland . I NEED TO GET AWAY .
http://www.scotland.org/


i'm also craving hawaii. im thinking of going sometime during summer.

which reminds me,
the bathing suit i want to get:

i really want some salmon this week. and some sticky rice with seaweed flakes on it.
and some chinese food. the least i can do for the lunar new year right? its the year of the tiger ... sam is a tiger. he said its the coolest animal on the chart. whatever, he clearly didn't see the DRAGON. which is what i am. the dragon is the coolest one on there. how silly to think otherwise.

gardening

friday i went to anthonys house around 10. we did some watercolors in the yard. we also looked and cooed at the 5 new baby kittens that JanKy birthed last week. so little soft and cute. we named two so far - mud shake & smoosh. i can't wait to hold them. then when tiffany came over at 12 we started to rake & weed the herb garden spot on the hill. we didn't get far but its progress nonetheless. we plan on fixing up the yard real nice this summer.

i went on an hour bike ride with my sister. our legs hurt very bad. but it was worth it and we want to keep doing it more often. i also sorta got some stuff done on an analytical paper i'm writing.. but eh.. its really getting me down..


oh i also let anouk outside.. she loves it. she just prowls arond the garden where i am working at and sniffs stuff and gets spooked when the wind blows leaves around. its really cute. she likes to explore. i put lots of new tunes on my ipod today. i'm still not done tho. just taking a break.

now i'm just ending the day in a not so great mood. just really frusterated with life and squirmy from discomfort. discomfort from not having a whole lot of control over things and wanting to just give up. really irritated at the things that bind me. never satisfyed with what i am or what i have. difficulty getting over things. no end in sight. people who continue to keep giving me advice can just stop because i've heard it and i know. i can say those same things and sound like i know what i'm talking about but that doesnt make what is being said something "that simple" to do. i just want to get everything over with. i want to get out of here. why can't i just win the lotto or something. why is money always the root..



falsus in uno, falsus in omnibus

i'm starting to feel a bit smothered here

i do my thing, and you do your thing. i am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. you are you, and i am i, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.-
Frederick E. Perl