last day

at mels.
i got ToOoOoOns of tips!
it was great.
i'll miss it a bit. i'll miss trina for sure! she is so great i love her.
"its like one tree hill"


but i'm glad to be gone.




I might have a job in utah already - as a nanny.
i'm really excited. i just gotta pick the family...
... think i know which one.


on wednesday tiffany and i are having our last day.
im sad. im gonna miss the guts out of her.
we'll eat someplace. BJS brewery .

favorite things : a list

• 
• i love to sleep. in my bed mainly. or somewhere so comfy.

• bread/toast with homemade jam
• good songs . i can't elaborate.
• corn bread - recent
• water , room temp normally. but sometimes i need the chilled.
• beehive & carluccis - anyways / always.
• ds lite - zelda
• fruit . fruit. fruit ... pineapple slices 
• c culture.
• science.
• detective work . i am an investigator
• MINOU
• france ... oh sigh
• the smell inside on the spine of my dads old books
• Dune
• cliff - peanut butter crunch
• my bed. i already sorta said that tho.
• warm tea, i hate cold tea.
• packing ,
• candles etc , i'm aromatherapy
• accents. there was a german man in my home this morning, from san diego. my dad & him spoke about cars & europe. i could listen to either of them read a phone book.
• nivea extra enriched lotion
• laughing till you cant breath / you start crying
• arranging things
• snail mail . packages /letters ... a best feeling.

first farewell

i had my first goodbye. me and brooke happened to both be wearing california shirts. (homegrown & hollister) we thought it was a sign of some sort. she might be moving to hawaii, its not a sure thing. but if she does i am so visiting all the time.

today i returned my school books. got a hawaiian pizza, a yoohoo, 2 truffles, a cartoon of goldfish, 6 salt water vanilla taffys and ... i'm eating them all. i've been slowly packing up my things. i have so much stuff. i'm nervous but very excited. i need to find a temp job, i'm not too worried but still... minimum wage in utah is a joke.

i rented milo and otis , because i haven't seen that since i was maybe 8 or 9 years old. reminiscing is my favorite thing, above anything, to do... and i've said that before. i get a new phone tomorrow, i'm switching to verizon. 

i need new shorts. oh dang.

i'm starting to feel a bit smothered here

i do my thing, and you do your thing. i am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. you are you, and i am i, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful.-
Frederick E. Perl

beautiful

analyzing how we experience the world.

we experience things at one million miles an hour – everything that finds its way through our sensory channels leaves an impression – a mark on a page of our autobiography – our collection slowly builds who people see.


physical emphasis – validating the flesh – the familiar – the obvious – recharge the mystery of being a being – disconnect from recognition – lose yourself in abstraction




the void of body worship – a drunkenness of sorts – envelop – fall in, the thickness, the blindness – a simulation that floats the boat in the ocean – realizing that there are very few regions in the realm we often exist in – repetitions with in a limited language of communication – realizing that i want to speak so much more clearly with out saying anything – without even moving – by means of signals channeled through parallels – a language broken down to symbols and elemental particles – a blink of an eye pauses everything i know – an eternity is reserved for me to receive the messages with absolute clarity

to hear myself talk – validate, solidify my understanding of my collective reality – built from eventful days, starry nights and adventurous weekends with amazing people.

i’s a big world for a single person with big ambitions – but then the world shrinks into full view.

do everything as a professional.

feels so good

"Maybe we like the pain.
Maybe we're wired that way.
Because without it,
I don't know;
maybe we just wouldn't feel real.
What's that saying?
'Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?
Because it feels so good when I stop. '"

beauty in all forms

books, music, flowers, and perfume are typical delights. promote peace & harmony, & will invariably opt to bypass hostile confrontations whenever some equally effective method can be employed. most ready to tolerate the beloveds failings. honesty, fairness, and justice. fast travelers; the sharks. trying to be all things to all people, there is a general impression : indecisive. affectionate, warmhearted, sentimental, naturally optimistic - everything to please. talent for making people feel at ease. will find ways to succeed one way or another. using wit & charm. tennis, hiking, horseback riding, skating, & aerobics. the most desirable. need to be liked. mellowness & sense of relaxation in the air. won't hesitate to walk away; with no further explanation or thought of returning. solve the matter then and there. elegance, charm & good taste, naturally kind, very gentle, & lovers of beauty, harmony & pleasures that these bring.

patang patang

thoughts of you.


~

my body itches ever since mallory told me she has poison oak. i've never had it, i don't think i can get it because my dad & brother have had it millions of times and i've been around it so much. its in her eye. i asked her "did you dive naked into a bush or something? how do you do that?"

which reminds me,

stephanie was in my dream last night. probably because i read her blog before turning off my computer. the dream was pretty funny. bryce came into my work and found some long lost friends and said "i cant hang out stephanie might get mad" and i said "no she wont i'm going over to her house" so he left somewhere and i went to her house, but her house was a store. and i had to park in a really weird spot on a hill thing behind a silver car. but we tried on clothes and talked and did REALLY weird things. she had on a giant hat with tassels on it. i ended up wearing all white. at the end of the dream we got poison oak and i swear i was itching myself in my sleep and thats why i woke up at 7 am.

once, i was the elevator master in one of natalies dreams.