dreamin

i hate having dreams that seem real

do you think dreams are things that can actually happen?
because.... i'd sure like that.

if you see prince harry, tell him i say hi.


which reminds me. i think im going to go to europe.
paris & london. those cliche travel destinations.
i got nothin else to do.


i wish that were true
i got sooooo much to do.
but i really need to get away by myself.
is that safe? i dont care. i like to be alone


i wish i could catch a break .


i may not have all those materialistic bullshits
that you all waste your time and money on .
that consumes your lives
& makes you feel better (somehow)
and gives you some sorta purpose
...


but damn, have i got SOUL.

true words

if children live with criticism, they learn to condemn

if children live with hostility they learn to fight

if children live with ridicule, they learn to be shy

if children live with shame, they learn to be guilty

if children live with tolerance, the learn to be patient

if children live with encouragement, they learn to be confident

if children live with praise, they can learn to appreciate

if children live with fairness, they learn justice

if children live with security, they learn to have faith

if children live with approval, they learn to like themselves

if children live with acceptance & friendship

they learn to find love in the world

really into natural occurrences lately.. for the obvious reasons. its just wonderful to know that the earth is alive and letting us know it. however, its not so wonderful when people are being devastated and harmed.. its terrible. i wish there was more i could do than just donating $10 . i wish i had a home big enough to let a family live with me. or i wish i could fly over there and help the kids who are lost and scared. i just feel so helpless for all of those helpless people. i'm sad thinking about it. can't talk to long about what's going on. it makes me really antsy because i can't do anything, like i said.

aside from the sadness involved with natural movements & shifts.. its all pretty amazing and it makes me want to re-take my geology class. it was one of my favorites. i also want to take french class so i can learn french like a real french girl. i feel like such a faker! haha.

storms, earthquakes, volcanoes, tornados... beautiful. i guess from a safe distance of course... but even still. i feel like going back to kansas to try to witness a tornado. how absolutely thrilling and exhilarating would that be ! wow. i've also always wanted to hike on a volcano . kinda dangerous. but how special would that be. everything is so cool in this world. i am itching to get goin to see it all. wish it was possible...

day dream ...

i want a stone path leading up to my front door. with glitter, sea shells & special rocks scattered around. i want old rusty objects placed in my garden for the plants to grow up & around them. i want wind chimes made of wood hanging from low branches. i want a bird bath. i want stumps for benches. i want my front door to be painted red. i want bird feeders hanging above the railings outside of a big window so we can watch the birds together & try to name them.

i want a big cozy couch with colorful pillows & blankets along the back. i want curtains that i created hanging in our big clear windows. i want pictures of our family in various types of frames all over the wall of our stair case. i want objects that represent us placed on small shelves amongst the pictures of our family, so that it tells a story. i want a room filled with book shelves for all our books to live. all mixed together on different shelves, with no order to them - but we'll know exactly where each book lives.

i want ivy growing up the sides of the house. & a big sunflower garden, right next to the pumpkins & vegetables. i want an herb garden outside the kitchen door. so we can pick what we need for the dinners we eat at our kitchen table. i want a big window in front of our bed. so when we wake up we can see a new piece of art everyday. i want a toy room. for the kids to imagine their days away. with wonders and surprises everywhere they look. i want an art studio, for us to get creative and have fun trying new things. i want chickens to give us fresh eggs, but far back in the yard so they don't wake us up - but can still keep us company when we let them out to roam. i want a small pond. for the frogs to put on their nightly symphony. i want a lot of trees, but not too much. because one of our favorites things to do is watch the stars put on their show.

a hammock or two. a swinging love seat. a tire swing & a wooden swing. a tree house. a picnic bench to eat outside on when the weather is ideal. a shed full of our tools & our bikes. a river near by for him to go fishing. the ocean not to far away for us to take beach trips. the mountains real close for hikes & camping. a lake for kayaking and floating. a back deck that has the most spectacular view. just might be the most favorite place to be in the whole house.

a big round bath with steps leading up to it, with jets of course. plants on the edges. stained glass window customized. swirly handmade brass decorations hanging from the ceiling with glass bits and marbles & feathers to catch the light and wind to relax the mind and catch the eye. a family room. with cozy chairs & couches & pillows. somewhere we can all relax together. even tho we can relax together in any room in any place. painted walls. earth colors. different in each room. everything is tied together & makes sense. because we made it and built it together. we love it all and its all us. its just enough. not too much, not to little. just right. we easily maintain it. we enjoy it. its all that is love.

SOMEONE

Someone who readily takes responsibility for every aspect of their life and knows that if something sucks they are the one that has to change it

Someone who doesn’t let themselves be the victim

Someone not interested in sympathy

Someone who will make time for me if I make time for them

Integrity, honesty, driven, talented, ambitious, confident, attractive, ethical, adventurous, spontaneous, influential, health conscious, independent, creative, articulate, good communicator

Someone who takes time to question things

Someone who is careful with absolutes and the idea of truth

Someone who agrees that there is no better time than now

Someone who is determined to be happy and does not settle for less

Someone who agrees that pharmaceuticals are not the way to happiness

Someone who doesn’t do any illegal drugs

Someone who can handle me being very direct, honest, straight forward – right to the point about nearly everything

wanderlust

“People travel to faraway places to watch, in fascination, the kind of people they ignore at home.”

saw that quote on my friend sue's facebook.. loved it. of course.

i am thinking of traveling to hawaii at the end of july/beginning of august. i really need to go there. i know i will love it. it just seems magical. and my camera wants to travel and get some photographs. i want a wide angle lens. it would be put to great great use.

where are all my bloggers anyway? i have 49 people who follow me but no one comes to say hello. hmmmm.

i have these two antlers , and i'm not sure what to do with them. i want to hang the big one on my wall. but i need to figure out how.. and where..
and i wish i had the mate to the smaller deer antler so i could mount them both up and use it as a coat rack or soooomething. antlers are so weird. can you imagine just having these huge bones sticking out of your head? i tried it. i knocked my head pretty hard on one bringing it up to my head. haha . it would suck to be attacked by anything with antlers, seriously.

day dreaming...

day dreaming. trying to get to utah. does anyone have some free airline buddy passes? or know anyone who works for the airline? i need to get there badly... oh dear.
i got tons of new art supplies from Dr.Deb. very happy she gave it all to me. she also gave me an antique drafting table. i'm going to re-finish it next week. my little project. excited about it. i turned my brothers room into my art studio. sorta. more like my art storage. i have so many supplies its crazy.

my mom brought me a bagel in bed today. gotta love breakfast in bed. with my cat. i'm going to go get a twix from the store. where did all my bloggers go?

चंद्रमा / ในแสงจันทร์ /وقال إن القمر

i'm awake. i should be tired, i'm always tired. but for some reason i couldn't fall asleep.

my eyes flickered around when i closed my eyes.
my mind kept thinking of every possible thing that it could.
wouldn't just REST. and slow down.
i couldn't get comfortable. my stomach feels hungry.

the moon is 93% full, descending from a full moon back down to that sliver.. i really don't like this part. it makes my sleep all messed up. only when i take notice of it. which is ridiculous. but true. had i not been keeping track of the moon phase maybe this wouldn't be going on. but it is. and i don't know what to do. i've been reading. but i couldn't stay comfortable and the light was bugging me. tried a different book, i liked it but got tired of it because i wasn't in the mood for it.
so i got on the computer. this loud stupid humming beast.

i waste so much time on here. not as much as other people. but what else can i do. stuck here, no school work yet. work is slow. my creativity is dismal. my funds are exhausted. my friends are all so far away. i've got nothing! its just so ... limiting.

i've been drawing people lately. i've been practicing. i've never been good at drawing people. my drawings so far are just "okay". i'm trying to get better. i'm not brave enough to try to paint a human yet. i've only painted myself and sam. and sam was a failure and i need to just paint over that.. its hard tho. humans are very difficult for me to draw. i see other people draw people like its the easiest thing in the world. so lucky and talented. its hard to transfer my visions and ideas onto the paper or the canvas. so so hard.

lincoln and the countess of moray