the eve before the eve of the new year...

had a slumber party last night.

i havent stayed over at a friends house for easily over a year. 

it was wonderful fun. 

we cracked open a huge enormous bottle of champagne. *happy new year

watched some hilarious comedians on netflix.. 

talked about race, the odd trait/emotion of racism, cats, babies, eating habits, names, thong underwear (so 90's), blood type.... oh the things women talk about ! 

at one point during our talking, i said "i love when you can learn things when talking to certain people" 

its true! don't you LOVE when you can talk to certain people and you feel inspired & you feel like you are gaining knowledge and wisdom & taking in more than you thought you could in just a 'silly' conversation? 

i love being a woman. & i love having that connection with other women. we are such powerful & knowledgeable creatures. (some of us at least...) 

so next week, i am getting my hair dyed dark. no more blonde cassaundra. she is GONE! with this new year,you all will see a transformation. good things are going to be opening up for me. i have big plans and beautiful dreams that are going to come true. and no.... its not because im dying my hair dark... thats just a fun appearance change... i like to do that every new year. 

i have to fulfill my dreams day by day. i cant do long term... its too hard for my mind to plan that. i work better with spontaneity... 

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL NEW YEARS

REMEMBER TO BE NICE TO EVERYONE 

AND TO BE YOURSELF  

MAKE FRIENDS WHERE EVER YOU GO 

ABSORB THE GOODNESS IN EVERYDAY

HELP OTHERS & YOURSELF

& LAUGH . EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

new years

europe

seems more than appropriate
considering i got new luggage.... plaid luggage...
which is just so perfectly & appropriately London style.
so it means i should go off !

got new insoles for my shoes... check
amazing books to read on my way ... check
cute clothes & warmth... check.

its probably all in my head.
but i feel like i could totally fit in there.
i have burberry sunglasses... i love tea & crumpets.
i mean , what more do you need england?
plus i dont have to learn a new language.
seems like a pretty awesome place to be

albeit , i wont just be there. i'll be all over.
it'll just be like 'home base'
this is what i want to do.
and i am going to work toward it
this new year ... is FRESH
unattached .
motivated

all that stuff .

happy christmas everyone
ive got a fat cat on my lap
& some home made potato leek soup brewin


(even tho its been winter for only 5 days... im already over it)



lit up ice.... experiment.
enjoy

an insincere and evil person is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil person will wound your mind.

monsoon shake .

sometimes all you can do is laugh
LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH

really hard
and remind yourself
that even tho right now is super ridiculous
down the line.... it'll all pan out
and make sense

and that YOU (im speaking in the 3rd person)
will be so much more successful & fulfilled
than the people YOU are so disgusted with right now


and just remember
that everything you are working toward
and the things you are saving
and the things you are sacrificing
and the people you are surrounding yourself with
and the plentiful friends you keep close
and dear & sacred & special

& the laughter, good, happiness & encouragement
that i give to others around me
will one day ,
very soon
pay off
and i will be satisfied
and glowing
and gleaming & glistening
and maybe even BURSTING
with genuine happiness,
BLISS, GRATIFICATION, ELATION &
maybe.... just maybe
contentment. 

matt damon...

this .... cracks me up
matt damon is cool now.... hahaahah

i just want to be somebody

someone who is known for good
someone who helps
and makes a difference

looked up to
admired
i want to inspire
& encourage others

is that too much to dream for
and want ?

dreamin

i hate having dreams that seem real

do you think dreams are things that can actually happen?
because.... i'd sure like that.

if you see prince harry, tell him i say hi.


which reminds me. i think im going to go to europe.
paris & london. those cliche travel destinations.
i got nothin else to do.


i wish that were true
i got sooooo much to do.
but i really need to get away by myself.
is that safe? i dont care. i like to be alone


i wish i could catch a break .


i may not have all those materialistic bullshits
that you all waste your time and money on .
that consumes your lives
& makes you feel better (somehow)
and gives you some sorta purpose
...


but damn, have i got SOUL.

you make me wanna cry

you dont know how to ease my pain

you dont know what the sound is darlin.....




you dont know how to play the game.. you cheat you lie.
you make me wanna cry.


thats the sound of my love dyin.

fanny pack find

sven design san francisco red leather fanny pack

im gonna bring the fanny pack back.

wait for it.

oh man

just decorated our big tree with what seems to be about a billion vintage ornaments. and even tho it looks super pretty, just the thought of putting all of this christmas decor away ........ OH MAN. i am hoping to donate half of the decor (not the ornaments) after this year. for real. i love christmas but gollllllllllllly its a lot of work.\

i am pooped.

this week was busy at work. and at home.

my mind is going a million miles an hour all the time. i dont have time to think about stupid things really. sometimes i wish i did. wish i could breath and stop for lunch.......""

its 10:41 already / ? it seems earlier. but im so tired. i guess i should go to sleep.

i dont like it when im missing people.

and when i cant see them. such a strange sort of unachievable longing.

i try to push it aside.

i totally scored at the thrift stores today.

i dont even know why i try shopping at actual shops. because the thrift stores pretty much suit me way better. and i look awesome. i'll have to start taking more photos of my self and my clothes. but wow that sounds like a lot of time and effort that i just dont seem to have .

sooooooooo a couple weeks ago i accidentally tore the life out of my Gstar jeans.... it was a terrible tragedy & i cried. i thought i couldnt get them fixed and so i was very discouraged. but , low & behold.... they have been repaired by the best seamstress in town. HOORAY! cassie wins one!

i should be keeping score of how many times i win.

today i won twice, that i can remember.

i got a cotton branch with real tufts of cotton on it.

its beautiful.

next time i get a boyfriend i hope he knows that i would much rather prefer dried branches of cotton or something odd & unique rather than run of the mill flowers from a grocery store. and i also hope he doesnt read this , because that would be cheating. i might have to delete this entire post if i ever start having time for guys again. which i dont see happening anytime soon. my mind cant be wasted upon some selfish, cruel, fake man again. i have to be more careful. which means i need to be more educated. so that will take some time because im not about to let it happen again. caution........ right?

i dont blog anymore.

i just dont know what to say

i feel like i am being boring and saying stuff no one wants to read about.

my snowboard is for sale,

ive never used it in my life

and i would love if someone bought it.

email me if you want info.

casstaway@gmail.com

im tired.

bye

opppsss

havent had time , or much to say, to write a blog...

so i guess i'll give it a whirl tonight.

been sick for a whole week now... still goin.

& i got my new Coach glasses.

i made a Page for my ETSY on Facebook.

here:: FACEBOOK PAGE --- please 'like' it! i'd appreciate it.

it will be a nice way to show off my work in a place where more people are , and then direct them to my etsy for any purchases they might want to make.

(support local!)

posted up some new cool things. i'll be posting more next weekend.

i did a 5 strand braid in my hair today

its really cool i like it a lot

i do NOT like the cold,

but this is nothing new

i'd rather be warm warm warm warm

in the heat of the sun

with out tons of layers on me.

the cold is just uncomfortable, sicky, ugly & bitter.

there isn't really anything i like about it.

except for christmas, i prefer snow to be on the ground & falling from the sky

because i feel like it totally fulfills the christmas idea in my head.

i want to move everywhere

i want to move to Hawaii

& England

& France

& New York

& Florida

San Diego might be a good idea

Humboldt has the best school for what i want .. but ew its too cold & rainy.

its so hard to narrow it down.

i need to figure it out

i painted my nails a clear color with sparkles in it. it makes me feel so pretty

i love being girly.

next week is THANKSGIVING

& it would be grand.

the friday after that - GIRLS NIGHT. wine & cheese party

at my house

games, giggling, fun, jokes & WINE .

my friends & my moms friend. UNITE! to make a hilarious combination of warmth.

can't wait.

i feel so boring..............

hmm

i' will try to write something cooler next time

preeeeeetty sure i might abandon my blog.

its boring and no one blogs anymore .

whatevaaaa .

had delicious cheese & wine . bread & real butter tonight.

with my dad & 2 aunts. spoke french the whole time.

it felt good .

just got my brand new burberry sunglasses today !

and i just send them off to get polarized & blacked out too the maxxxxxx.

so excited to get them

sooooooooo that means i'll be selling my NIKON sunglasses . they are so good tho.

amazing glass , so clear and incredible. and the best look. i'll post them up this weekend .

they are vintage and rare . very hard to find & they dont make them anymore. get 'em when i post them .

i painted my nails

DIVE BAR by essie.

they are so good.

cant wait for thanksgiving

i get the whole week off

and im gonna be with my friends and do some much needed relaxing and hanging out with my girls. because i need it.

tryin to give myself a mental makeover .

tryin to do the right thing in all avenues of life

kinda hard when there will always be persistent constant people who suck.

and stress . and obstacles.

but i guess thats what im trying to overcome.

all that crap.

it'll take me a bit.

but i am tryin. i need some help.

i love soup so much

its all i ever want. no matter what .

even if its hot outside. i want soup.

Living life is as smelling a rose,

grab it quickly and you will find its thorns quickly,

but grab it slowly and the thorns will have no power,

and you can enjoy its beauty freely. - JEM

Bottega Veneta

i got a vintage authentic Bottega Veneta purse at the thrift store today. for real. i couldn't make that up.

i also went shopping yesterday and got many clothing items. needless to say, i'll be whats "happenin" this winter.

new stuff posted on my ETSY , check it out. hey, its never too early to start getting gifts for christmas. eh eh. cinnamonnymph @ ETSY

love havin friends, makin friends. being REAL. i wish all my friends and people i liked lived in california near me. why are you all staying in utah..... get out ! come here to paradise and play with me. its fun i promise. i'll show you the magic and the happiness.

i wish i could have another kitten.

i wish Roux would come home. i miss her.

i guess in order to fill my void of lack of cat, i will just purchase clothing with cats on it. and other items cat-like. you can judge me all you want. but i am faithful to all things cat.

i got my tragus pierced. i love it. it looks awesome. i might want to get my other side done once this one is all healed. i'll only pierce my ears. nothing else.

im really not happy about summer being gone. if i could live in a bikini forever, i would be satisfied. i hate wearing clothes. but i mean .. now that i got really radical new ones i guess i'll feel better. but still. i need a new pair of gstar jeans. ive only got 2 pairs of gstars and 1 pair of freepeople. thats.... not enough jeans at all. FAIL. what is a girl to do. being picky is tough.

:::this is all i want to do for halloween:::

list for october

* hawaii vacation

* dreams & life in suuuch weird ways

* i need more time

* no food sounds good

* except SOUP

* i miss my utah friends

* i dont like the rain.

* i want more sun

* got the cutest pair of free people pants

* & im regretting not getting the cashmere marc jacobs pullover

* i need new boots/shoes.

* such hard things to find tho

* i want my subaru to be fixed

* lets send good vibes my way for my subaru ....

* pumpkin

* cinnamon vanilla

* i forgot to borrow bridesmaids from jackie

* thinking of getting burberry sunglasses..

* i have a pile of things that need sewing

* but no time & energy to do it

* i want a masquerade mask for halloween

* and a purple or white wig . short hair.

* Sinatra

* mY ETSY! :: http://www.etsy.com/people/cinnamonnymph

* windchimes

* hot. soy. vanilla. chai. with foam = best thing ever.

* my coworkers

* wish i could sing

* i really miss the summer

"Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward.

And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

::Steve Jobs::

playlist right now

of the week

love this . love it

song today

i have a lot on my mind. but when i write it all down it looks boring to read.

my blog must be painfully boring because no one reads it anymore and no one ever comments. it kind of bothers me how no one ever comments. whatteevver. i guess blogging has died.

as of lately ::

the beat of the week ~~

so here i am.

busy as a bee.

work 7 days a week.

at the office on days . coffee on weekends.

herb school, friends, family, cleaning, etsy & cuddlin my cat in the time i have left over.

money saving. car fixing. school planning. music finding. pumpkin craving. thrift shopping. healthy eating. positive step taking.

i'm also getting glasses ! because i actually need them. i always knew i did. they are ... so perfect for me. can't wait to show them off. the perks of working at an optometrist office. i do exams on people & all that fun stuff. it really is fun, i'm not being sarcastic. i love my job.

last weekend my great pal brooke & i decided to be tourists in our own town: Camino aka Apple Hill. it was probably the best idea we've ever had. because it was the best day ever. we went to Kids Inc for their delicious pies for breakfast. then we dinked around at various other farms & got ourselves some souvenirs . we then decided to go to Boeger Winery for some wine tasting & a bottle of Boeger Hangtown Gold on the grass for brunch. delicious & peaceful!

Then we went to some other farms & decided to hit up good ol' Jack Russell Brewery because they had tents & live music... nice nice. we decided to each get a hotdog .. (brooke got veggie) & it was so delicious. we watched a man blow glass with special glasses .

then our last stop was Argyres Orchards for face painting! we decided it was a must. Brooke got lady bugs & bumble bees with vines & i got a unicorn & star bursts. so awesome.

all in all... it was a spectacular day.

LOVE !

OPS?

does that even begin to describe.... what is my life... ???

not even close.

try going from having a car, a family, a roof, a BED, a cat, a ... everything really.

to having nothing

virtually nothing

homeless

carless

family-less

every "less" you can think of.

well .. thats me. monday was the day my life caught up with me.

i have a lot of advice for my readers out there. if i have any. i really cant tell at this point. i haven't gotten comments or input or anything for the longest time. and yet i still keep writing. in vain obviously. and trust me, that is the least of my worries these days. maybe my horrible lifestyle has been exuding from my pores & my aura this entire time keeping people away? who knows.

advice #1 - don't ever under estimate true friends.

you think you have all these pals & friends and whatnot. but when things get real dirty & rough & intense... its all about who is still standing there waiting for you. who are the people who are gonna drop whats going on with them to help YOU? you really learn who the true, life long, honest, incredible hearted, & loving friends are. you separate whats real from whats just... an illusion. my friends have been incredible , supportive, there for me & helping beyond explanation. i don't know how i will ever return the favor. buying you guys dinner & food just doesn't seem to suffice. (altho i know you guys all enjoy that haha!)

#2 - seriously. learn when to shut up. s h u t u p . your stupid, over reacting, cynical, rude, bitchy, snide, smart ass, annoying words really DONT need to be said all the time. can't you learn to shut up? really? by this point can't you recognize when you are digging a really deep & ridiculous hole for yourself for NO REASON!!!/?? just be quiet ! you will make a huge fool out of yourself.

"If you can't say something nice .... don't say nothing at all" - Thumper

#3 - don't let another persons poison seep into your life, mind, body & soul. don't, in turn, become a poison yourself. listen to others around you who have concern. warnings are there for a reason. RUN . if you get the smallest inkling of poison ... get out. it will consume you . you won't even realize it.

#4 - learn to admit when you are wrong. seriously . unless you want to be miserable and stubborn forever. have fun with that.

I WAS WRONG! i admit it. so so so so incredibly horribly stupidly wrong. about everything.

i could give advice for hours right now. but i'm tired. i work in the morning. my back hurts because . i am in this amazingly comfortable bed.

but take my advice. and just DO IT. do everything i say.

if the world would do as i say ... it would be perfect. just don't do what i do. because clearly its not a good idea. learn from your mistakes... oooh hell. if you don't you are so dense.

goodnight

new things on my etsy ....

do i make a good sales girl with this face?

http://www.etsy.com/shop/cinnamonnymph

yellowstone / jackson hole

how silly we are. walking on this wooden boardwalk gazing into this mesmerizing hot springs & geysers . so fascinating & mysterious to us. walking with out protection against these erie forces of the earth. on this wooden board walk ... thinking it makes us safe. when at any given moment a new geyser could erupt right under you. boiling you to infinity.

yet we mosey along thinking we are safe because of this wooden path, that weaves us in and around and about these spectacular natural beauties.

such a mysterious place . erie & thought provoking. all of this glory & wonder. these unique THINGS. pools of mineral water boiling from the earth. flowing constantly. always alive with activity from deep underground. we walk around in awe gazing into these wondrous creations , when right beneath our feet a super volcano is brewing, active but not active enough to explode with force over this earth. its amazing to wrap your mind around. the differences in color, shape, force & flow of each pool & geyser is fascinating. not one the same.

the smell is a putrid, repugnant smell. yet it lures you in and makes you take a deep breath. you can't decide whether its awful or refreshing. the mixture of heat, water & minerals from deep with in the earth ... when the wind blows over the pools and pushes the steam and smell onto your body you get the chills. your body doesn't know what to feel. cold? hot? goosebumps and heat waves all at once. the changes in temperature are so quick that you don't have time to adjust. you just stand there ... letting the breeze flow over you . eyes closed , arms out , hair flowing, mind removed. nothing else matters ... just that feeling , that smell, that sight.

the colors and movements of each pool is enchanting. i want to mimic each one into my own personal spa. i want to reach out and dip my finger into them. the soft touch of pure mineral water. the layers chroma fanning out over the area making unique rainbows. the constant changes and flow leave it different every second. you will never fixate on the same thing ever again.

the pictures taken never seem to portray the right vision your own eyes witness. the beauty and intensity of each sight is beyond explanation. they are the only way to remember what you saw. because your memories almost don't suffice. it was so much to take in that your mind blurs each sight together ..... the mist, the movement, the smell, the energy. makes you feel peaceful and removed. its incredible to be able to see something that has the potential to completely annihilate the world.

grand prismatic

chromatic spring

midway geyser basin

old faithful

this song right now

Chad Valley - Now That I'm Real (How Does It Feel)

anouk

i love my cat Anouk.

she hates when i travel , but she loves laying on my suitcase

holding it open for me to pack

instead of laying on the blankets i had on the ground

she decides the hiking backpack would be more comfortable...??

she has to be right in the middle of everything & lay on all my things

she cracks me up so much.

i love how much my cat loves me.

she is obsessed with me and i am obsessed with her......

true love

haha!

she

life

pumpkin muffins, cookies, pie... i want !!

excited for fall. my jackets & boots.. i've missed them... my scarves too. im looking forward to cuddling with my cat under soft warm blankets & eating lots & lots of SOUP.

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. ridiculous city . doubt i'll ever go back.

pine martens are creepy & annoying to wake up to at 3:30am . i don't like certain nature.

i bought grapes from the farmers market. delicious. i prefer vegetables over fruit tho... depending. artichokes... yum.

i wish i could own a nice car . volvo c30 ... or 2008 subaru outback. dreams. i'll probably just end up owning a bike & hitching rides my whole life like a bum. oh well.

i want to move to hawaii . or visit. september maybe. or for my birthday. school in Hilo sounds so ideal tho.

people need to buy things on my etsy NOW!! HERE :::

http://www.etsy.com/shop/cinnamonnymph

arrested development is such a funny show.

i haven't had ice cream in a long time.

i wish i had friends who lived here./weren't out of town on cool adventures... sigh

i lead a very strange lifestyle.

"Know things in nature

are like a person.

Talk to tornadoes;

talk to the thunder,

they are your friends

and will protect you."

~Anonymous Navajo poem

playlist right now

decided to go skydiving today

craziest feeling in the world.... stepping out of a moving plane & into the air.

i loved every second of it.

i wish i could tell my cat to turn on the fan

what do i want to do/ ?

EVERYTHING .

i want to tie something cool to a balloon & let it go . let it flyyyy up high into the world sky . and maybe hopefully make someones day , when they find my special thing . maybe attach a $1 dollar bill to it? or a random trinket. something neat. can't decide.

i want to C U T M Y H A I R . up to my chin and get bangs.

because im tired of long hair . & everyone has long hair. its generic. boring. trendy. usual. kind of feel weird being just. like. everyone. else.

maybe soon . november i'll cut it. hold me to it....

some new clothes & shoes. whats a girl gotta do to own a pair of NEW items? why is everything so damn expensive ? whats the world coming to? i think i need to take sewing classes & simply make my own clothes because this shit's gettin RIDICULOUS. but i did just purchase probably the most appropriate tank top of my life. :::

skydiving.

oh hey . im doing that tomorrow. holy crap?

i want to have all my girlfriends get together and have a gathering. a themed gathering. i missed the gypsy gathering and the witchy gathering. i think .... OLD WEST themed. i dig it. i can bring props too. who is down? who would attend ? too bad we cant do it tonight. the full moon.

who saw that meteor shower last night? i sure didn't . i was sleepin.

my car to WOR K. as much as i love the van ... i do not love its gas tank. & i would love to have my subaru back, the junky, reliable, cheap, spacious, ..... my own . i miss being able to do certain things in it. to go certain places. blah. don't hate what you got , cause when its gone you'll wish it back daily.

got new stuff on my etsy ::: CHECK IT OUT !

ETSY - cinnamonnymph

things i want to do in this life :

* skydiving - doing it on the 13th this month!

* swim with sharks .. maybe thats a long shot.

* scuba!

* ride a mule down the grand canyon

* hot air balloon ride ... again. i went in june & it was glorious

* cut my hair really short.. or shave it.

* own a chinchilla

* make my own set of dishes/mugs -- pottery

* learn french AND spanish

* fall in a deep love.

* go sailing

* see a rainforest

* avoid being bitten by a botfly... ew

* go fishing in the ocean... catch my own food

* write something... a book.. like that

* go to disneyWORLD.

* ride an elephant !!!!

ill tell you something filled with bliss

driving thru the orchards with the windows down music loud

fast - but not too fast. smelling the freshly watered apple trees

the earthy renewal phase that the world goes thru each night - that smell is phenomenal

that cool air , thats not too cold to give you goose bumps and want the heater on

the air thats not too hot that makes you want the windows up & a/c on

its dark and the only light is from your headlights, an occasional house light, & the stars

cant take enough deep breaths of that sweet air ....

that music, that breeze, that smell, that temp , that FEEL ...

makes me want to close my eyes and float away

but wait... i'm driving.

when i finally get out - i look up. only to see the most spectacular view : a shooting star in that speckled crowded sky of ours, what are the chances? that sky... filled with stars, galaxies, planets, planes ... & anything else. breathe in one more deep breath of that sweet air. that smell , you know which one im talking about? its like the earth turns everything over & cleans it off so it can be fresh during the night.. calm & cool.

thats a tiny piece of bliss. teeny tiny.

a list of likes

coconut

disney

dresses

belts

mermaids

babies

cats

wooden things

eating out

thrifting

sending mail

receiving mail

bagels

friends

instagram (casstaway)

nail polish

luck

california

hawaii

heels

family guy

• Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values
• Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
• Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time
• Spend some time alone every day
• When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
• Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship
• Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
• Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
• Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson
• Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
• Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
• A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
• In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
• Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
• Be gentle with the earth.
• Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
• Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
• Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

california grown

lived in california since 1990

& its still the most fantastic

& beautiful place i've ever been .

however, i am itching to get out of here.

i'm really considering volunteer work in Nepal, Thailand or Cambodia.

this song

is a really good song . cant wait til the album releases :::

Active Child - Hanging On

Roux Skei

so my kitten Roux has been missing for exactly a week today - very very very sad. i've been stressed out & depressed for a whole week about it. she is only 10 months old. she is my best friend. i call for her every day multiple times. i posted up LOST CAT fliers everywhere, i asked every single neighbor, i went searching for her, called & checked in at each animal shelter/pound .... nothing.

two of my friends who are animal intuitive's have been giving me feedback & yesterday they both felt that roux was at peace and no longer alive....

super super sad. and i hope its not true. i miss her so much.

she was my 22nd birthday present. i looked for an entire week at tons of ads for kittens and i picked HER! my little tiny, semi-cross eyed, kind of retarded, fearless, playful, LOUD, mischievous, random, hilarious, bent whiskered kitty ROUX SKEI. i love her so much ! please send the best vibes you can spare to give me to have my baby kitten come back home to me!