Live at the Fillmore !

this is my trip thru photos from end to start . everything is in reverse. and i am too tired to fix it.

i will write later. my flight leaves tomorrow for salt lake city @ 3:30. my back hurts way bad. this sucks. it's 1 am. EW EW EW. this is not okay. i love sleep too much to stay up this late. word of advice: do not pack last minute. that is going to be in bold and have its very own chapter in my book.

anyway

i love railroad earth. (opening band was hot buttered rum.. they both ruled). i love san fransisco. i love megan. i love the new scarf i got (photos to come). annnnd i am way behind in updates via photos. sorry. i'll fix it later. enjoy

i'm writing a book

my friend stephanie told me i should write a book. about "circumstances in life". such as dating, nature, utah, how not to let a man step all over you, long distance relationships, etc..

i've had a lot of people tell me i should write a book. it's funny isn't it/? i guess its my way of writing, or my use of the language, or the things i have to say about situations. i just don't know what it is exactly.
i am going to start blogging about what other people would like to hear from me. about anything. ANYTHING. what do you want answered? what do you want advice on? what do you want to know about? what can i say about a subject so you can use my words in your essay that's due tomorrow? what can i tell you to say to someone who has just said something to you? what can i describe to you?

i don't care if i don't know you. if you've never said anything to me before... whatever. just post a comment with what you want to ask me or tell me or blah blah blah. you don't need to have a blogger account to comment on my blog. i've taken the risk of having commenting open to anyone on the web. so have at it.. take advantage of it.

here is what part of my book is so far:

stephanie told me her exboyfriend text her "what are you doing" and i told her that she should respond with "i'm doing something with my life, what are you doing?"


its a pretty good inclusion to my book yes? who cares about ex-boyfriends. they are EX-boyfriends. meaning, no longer. thus implying that you actually don't have to care about them anymore.. yes it's true. you can just continue life with out the miserable failing loser, and succeed while he is still in the same place he was before. forget the past, forget the history, forget it all. because its done and trust me its a GOOD THING that it is done. because who wants some dumpy mean rude uncaring boyfriend? remember that saying "there are plenty fish in the sea" or however that goes? its way true. just tell your brain to shut up and then live some free life...


until you find your upgrade.

my uncle who lives in the south of france posted this video on his facebook page.. i love it. its funny that him & i have the same music taste. does this mean i am getting old? i'm only 21. i get to see railroad earth in 8 days. 27th! fillmore in san fran!! SO EXCITED.

i'm also going to be in utah in 10 days.. i'm excited to see me friends. i dont even know how my trip is going to play out. so much to do in only a week and 2 days. ahh

newest modeling photo- FRUIT SERIES !

this is Me.. Strawberry! Clementines- Paris Gibson | Korean Melon - Sue Tran Tamarillo - Lilian Henrie | Golden Kiwi - Erynn Schmidt

all of these were done by the fantastic Mikenna

we did these back in august. love them. im so pleased. i really love mine. i love that i look like the only pleased one.. haha . yum. & no.. we didn't eat the fruit afterward. Instead we ate chinese food.

grow slow

there are smells in this world
that make me stop to take in the deep breath
and then i think
about how there needs to be a jar
that can capture smells
so that we can open it up any time
and smell it.


i'm the same way with sounds
like
the sound of .. rocks
fumbling around
under a creek.
or water falling over rocks
or someone who can
whistle really
really well.
or a foreign person
talking in english.

snow up to my mid thigh

funny story. so i was JUST ABOUT TO POST THIS last night .. and the power went out. it was the best/worst timing. how funny.

so i knew it was going to snow. the news said a couple inches. i woke up to feet of snow.. and it was still snowing. i wasn't worried tho because i have a subaru and it glides thru the snow like there isnt even any snow in the first place. so whatever. but then i throw on my snowboots and go out side and .. low & behold .. it went OVER the boots.. which go almost to my knee caps. so i was like cool now my pants are wet.

i dried them off once i got into the carport. i was fine.

then i backed up into the snow and plowed the way out of my driveway and onto the freeway. it was so easy. but then.. the mayhem started to take place.

the freaks and idiots were out and about. driving like they were blind, damaged or invisible. so i had to take backroads. which was risky. SUPER risky. but i did it. so i was almost to my college.. crusin down the road. no big deal. then out of NO WHERE i see a huge oak tree covering the whole road. yeah you would think that a person could see a giant oak tree blocking the whole road from far away right/? nope not the case. so i was like holy shiiiii and had to pump my breaks and swerve off. and turn around and got mad a bit since i was SO CLOSE and now i had to go all the way back? damn.

so off i went. to brave hwy50 going up the mountain to my home. what a mess. people suck. some people were trying to make two lanes on the free way and it was like.. okay just back off and chill out because you're going to get stuck, hold up traffic ,and piss everyone off so just go slow (and p.s. DONT TAIL GATE ME IN SNOW , ARE YOU STUPID?) and deal with it. when i wasn't having fun driving thru the snow - i was getting pissed off at the idiots around me who were driving too close to me or driving their tiny lame cars in feet of snow & getting stuck. who does that? your toyota camery doesn't belong on any road during a blizzard (or at all?) so don't try to act like you can do it. whatever! so i finally get home. after an hour of maneuvering around fools and plowing thru snow and i go up my drive way and .. not even kidding.. i get stuck. i was going up and down steep hills on unplowed back roads with thick snow and i didn't get stuck. hahaha but as soon as i reach my own domain my car is like eh whatever im tired. so i had to call my dad to save it.

but i must say that when i left my house it was almost to my knees so my car did fine, and it did fine down the hill because its lower so even though it had a lot of snow it didnt have as much as it did up higher. and then here in this picture .. the snow was up to my mid thigh. i am only 5'2 but still that's some serious snow.

(i also think i REALLY need a microscope.. because anyone that knows me knows i love macro images. so a microscope would rule. plus i want to see my own snowflakes.)

long way to go

my song of the week.. its marvelous.
i wish SOO bad that i could go to their show on the 27th this month at the Fillmore in SanFrancisco.

i have no one to go with tho. whatevs. I love Railroad Earth. i mean that music is just amazing. I wish i could play the banjo. I held one and strummed on it a little bit at the music shop down town. i'm in love .

i've been scared on blog world because finals. I should be doing math homework but i needed a break. I am going to utah december 29th until january 7th. i have 3 photoshoots! woo! i'm back in the game. very happy about that. so of course you'll all see photos from those later. i'll probably try to get more but for now that's awesome.


once my vacation happens i'll be more exciting. so don't forget about me over here guys.

thankful for .. walkin closets

(the double as a hideout) i am thankful for my cat.. anouk seldean. i love her more than anything. i am thankful for my totally radical family. because they are hilarious and keep not only my family.. but EVERYONE on their toes. i am thankful for my car.. my trusty subaru legacy outback. for sweet warm candles & chocolate. for my friends near and far - old & young. for lots and lots of things.but today .. i am thankful for my leather boots and leather jacket because it is going to rain.

i am going down to sacramento today to see brooke.. whom i have not seen in a long long time. jackie is coming with me because she is home for a couple days too. i haven't seen either of them for quite some time. i am excited. we are going to get tea.

i took some photos of my thanksgiving last night. well, of the dessert. hahahaha ... & we didn't eat the cat food.. i got those for my 3 cats.. don't judge me.. i love my cats.

that apple pie was cracking me up because it was so tall. and that was their smallest one! they come in sizes.. we got the apple and the pumpkin pies from the Kids INC farm.. sooo yummy. im going to have pumpkin pie for breakfast. i am disgusting when it comes to eating food. i never eat it at the right time. but i dont even care.
i tried to make sams moms recipe of breadsticks and i thought i was doing great but they didnt even work! they didnt rise at all. and i put yeast in. yeast hates me. i am not a very good baker. but i can cook. one day i'll learn to make breadsticks the right way.

oh man. seriously slackin

sorry guys. i dont know if anyones noticed but its tuesday night and the last time i wrote was friday. weird. not much has been going on tho for me to even write a decent blog. been pretty overwhelmed and busy with my school work. nooooot so fun. at all. but its almost done i just need to hang in there.

umm i have yet to get any pictures of my boots and leather jacket etc. eventually guys. just be patient. the time will come sometime. but in the mean time i did take a picture of this delicious croissant i had for breakfast in san jose at a European bakery downtown ..



yeah it was really good. and i've had many many croissants in my life time. you all should know this. its funny how the weird stereotypes about the french are all pretty much spot on sometimes. we love bread.. cheese.. wine.. coffee.. what other stereotypes about the french are there? don't even say we don't shave because that's back in the day stuff. i mean, for some i hope.. i don't uphold that stereotype. i also don't smoke. but i do wish i could find a beret that fit me right. those are the only stereotypes i can think of.

how silly.

i slept for 9 hours last night.

incinerator

000000000000000000000000000000000000000 <- anouk did that.

today i went on a shoot with lisa in old sacramento to shoot the Andrew Heringer band. it was waaay fun and we found the COOLEST PLACE EVER! the city incinerator.

by the way i know that all my stuff is underlined. i don't know how to get rid of it. i had pasted a thing from a note i wrote on facebook onto my blog then changed my mind about it. but it kept the underlining.
oh what the heck

it stopped. i dont know how i did this.
um awkward.

anyway here are some photos i snapped of the day: i guess this is a movie set , so its graudally being painted and stuff.. its really cool . its by horse cow.

this is a totally weird post.

a kisket a casket

i was taking my measurements today for modeling and i looked down and saw my tape measure and thought it looked so cute and neat. so i snapped a little photo of it.

sneak attack photos

me taking photos from behind the rock..

then i noticed i had been discovered by my boss lisa..
haha thanks lisa.. youre the best.

grow slow

today i bought a velvet dress at the thrift store that i am going to sew to make it fit me.

i haven't been taking any photos lately. i don't know why. i guess i have nothing to photograph. no one seems to care when i take photos anyways, i need to travel somewhere to get some good photos. i gotta really "wow" you guys or something because no one ever comes and reads my blog anymore. geeze haha. but i did take some of myself today... bored.
i really want to go to england to visit my brother for new years. but the chances of that are small. ii was going to paris for new years.. but that plan didnt follow thru which is STILL a bummer. i will probably end up in salt lake city which is closer, cheaper and normal. the reason i would go to salt lake instead of stay here .. because none of my friends live around me anymore so i have nothing to do. and none of my friends who live other places care to invite me to do anything.. let alone keep in contact with me. so whatever. i guess its partially my fault since i am busy with non-stop school work and working. that's what happens when you are trying to get your bachelors, masters and doctorate in bio-science to become a naturopathic doctor. ummm

but i am going to san fransisco in december for a couple days to stay with my friend meg and explore the city and have some time off before school starts up again. that will be much needed, plus its only a 2 hour drive. easy.

i probably shouldn't even be writing a blog right now. but i am avoiding my history paper and math homework. i am really tired and i just want to nap. but school work is whirling around in my head and constantly pestering me. i can't wait until this term is done. i'm so done with these classes.

i need to get back into modeling.

i haven't had a shoot for so long. the last time i had a shoot.. was in august i think. i haven't gotten the photos back from that shoot yet either. i can't wait to see them. i've done a lot of work with jake garn .. as you can see. he's an amazing photographer. i need to book some stuff big time because i miss modeling. anyone want to help me out here?
here are some photos i have in my portfolio .. i have a lot more but these are some of my favorites. i've only been in one magazine.. that was in asia in 2008. that's about all on my resume for modeling. i was almost in a music video as the main girl but that got canceled. bad luck i guess. can it still count?

hair & make up : paula dahlberg | wardrobe : keith bryce | photo : jake garn


hair & make up : paula dahlberg | wardrobe : keith bryce | photo : jake garn


warbrobe : free people | photo : t&c


hair : matthew landis | make up : kristian bankston | photo : jake garn


wardrobe : mckell maddox | photo : jake garn


hair : steven robertson | make up : paula dahlberg | photo : jake garn

you can go your whole life collecting days.

you can go your whole life collecting days.

& none will out weigh the one you wish you had back.

i am basically a confused daydreamer of a girl. & i don't know what to do next. my brain is being driven in a zigzag circle upside down backwards dance. i'm in limbo. nothing is satisfying.