i give up on blogging.

decided to make another..

i have a photoshoot on jan 7th. a designer from project runway is doing the wardrobe. i don't know who he is, but he's doing it. and a makeup artist or hair stylist.. i can't remember which. maybe both. either/or. i'm excited for it. i suppose i could book another shoot or two before then. i'm just .. trying to spend as much time as i have here in my last weeks in utah. then back to california./life.\ 

anoukseldean

my cat is so funny. she has routines she likes to follow. one of them is when i wake up in the mornings she gets up too and comes over to my face and tries to get under the covers with me. she curls up against my chest and i cover us up and she starts to purr. another thing is i can't ever shut the door when i shower and shes around. she has to come in and sit and wait for me or watch me. if i shut the door she meows and paws at the door. also, she fetches. when she wants to play she brings one of her toys (the ones i made her) up onto the bed and sits down and meows until i pick it up and throw it. then she brings it back, i throw it, etc. its so funny. i love that my cat plays fetch. shes so cool.


so for christmas i'm going to go to the paynes [link] for brunch. one time he gave me two balled up pieces of paper that he called "a cherry". is so cute and creative he cracks me up. it will be fun and new this year. i'm excited for it./

WHERE IS THIS SNOW STORM I'VE BEEN HEARING SO MUCH ABOUT??

koko

stupid sam broke down the big icicle outside my window when i wasn't in the room. i was sad. i walked in to the dining room and saw him halfway out the window with the screen on the floor and the ice in his hands. it was weird. he said it will grow back. still wasn't his ice to be breaking. jerk. i've been measuring the other big one every day. its my favorite. i'm just glad he didn't break that one. i have bonds with my ice.

2 rules to success in life. 1. Don't tell people everything you know.

l'accueil etait chaleureux

the usual dinner time in france is a little later than in the united states, around seven thirty or eight o'clock. when the french eat out, they usually arrive at the restaurant between eight and ten o'clock. a festive meal or a meal in a restaurant starts with an aperitif, followed by an hors-d oeuvre or entree (appetizer) and the plat principal (main dish). then comes a salade verte (salad with lettuce) or a course of fromages (cheeses). after the dessert, many people drink cafe (coffee) or an after dinner digestif (drink). "doggy bags" are not customary in french restaurants.



nous gagnons notre pain.

positive affirmations

the untold power of the human psyche. i believe people construct their own realities of abundance or poverty. through affirmations, people give operating instructions to their mind. the universe is enormously abundant. you have to believe in it. put your love and positivity out there and you'll be safe. if you think that money is limited, then it will be. if you have a negative attitude about money, you will not attract it. saying "i cant afford that" is an affirmation. you must believe in abundance before you can participate in it.

SIMPLIFY

moving home

i am probably moving back to california.
more on that later.

hula hoop

just me, anouk, the moon & the christmas lights around my window.

about to go get curled up in my big comfy bed & sleep in tomorrow. i worked all day, i've been up since 7:00, but actually arose at about 7:45, saturday's are so hard to get out of bed early especially when its cold out side. at the event i worked tonight there was a mentalist. the only way i can describe what this guy did/does is like this. you're standing in one part of the room and hes standing in another & you have a piece of paper that you wrote something random on and he hasn't seen it, and he knows what it says when you look at it. sort of like he can see through your eyes. its really amazing. i can tell when some people fake things and when others don't. he wasn't faking because he used his magic on me when he was leaving the building. its just so cool what people can do. i also saw a girl hula hoop really really good, and it makes me want to hula hoop too. she also had bouncy stilt-like things and i want them also.





**remember hula hoops & stilts for later.

change my ways rearrange my days

johannes hevelius*
la femme parallel*


múm & Olöf Arnalds - two beats i enjoy are from there too.

i've been feeling lately like i need to get out of here. i really really need to get out of this apartment. i can't stay here anymore i have to move. which is strange because i love this place. but something all of a sudden just changed and i have to leave. but then what?

carnitas thanksgiving

today we had carnitas for "thanksgiving". we had turkey & all that on wednesday because my brother was leaving on thanksgiving morning. we are all tired and full. all the time. we just eat a ton every day and take naps. thats about it. we went on a walk today up in pollock pines. its been fun, and now tomorrow i'm going to see my friends. i'm excited to see them finally. here are only some of the photos this trip:

bucket

some people just aren't very interesting to listen to. or very interesting in general. i'm glad i am. or at least i'd like to think so. nah, i know i am.

i stole my neighbors ice chest because i'm a snake. i'm giving it back when i'm done tho. i left a note. i already packed up most of my stuff into the car. because i'm that excited. i could just do it tomorrow but... why not do it now? kylee is watching my little angel anouk while i'm gone. anouk is going to miss me so much i know it. i got her fancy feast turkey feast in gravy for her to eat on thanksgiving. i love my cat alright.

where the magic happens

well. its cold over here. i can't wait to get my new shoes. they arrive monday. just in time for tuesday's departure to california. i am so excited. i just want to bring anouk with me. i don't want to leave her here. she's too young. & i'm uneasy about it. she'll miss her mother way too much and she'll be scared and confused.

story that makes me cry every time

i am highly addicted to stephens gourmet hot cocoa. i have it every morning & every night, as long as my schedule permits it. who knows if its healthy or not... all i know is its delicious. this is not the story that makes me cry.

this is the story. it starts with my dad being away in europe for about 3 weeks. and my brother being in Afghanistan for quite some time. well, my brother came home last week and hes staying until the 26th. my dad just got home on monday night, and no one had told him that my brother was home. so it was a surprise. my dad walks in the door & hugs miranda, my sister, and sees people on the back porch. (my brother & two friends) he registers after a minute that its my brother. he goes "zachary?" in his sweet little french accent (i can just picture this all in my head) and his eyes start to water. he stands in the entry way with his hands over his eyes then walks forward and he stumbles over his luggage and goes out onto the back porch and hugs my brother zac and cries openly in front of everyone because hes so happy & excited to have him home. i'm crying again right now. i don't know what it is about this story that hits a string in my heart but it does every time. and i cry because i'm happy and loved not because i'm sad. i just love my family so much & i love how we all love each other.
my sister called me that night it happened to tell me and she was laughing lightly at it and when she heard from my end of the phone she said "are you crying?" and i said yes then she started to cry too. then my mom called me this morning and i told her i cried when miranda told me the story and so my mom told me the story in more detail & i cried again and then it made her cry and oh man. i'm just glad i'm seeing them all next week or else i'd be a mess.


well. i should go to sleep now. how the heck is it 1 in the morning? am i crazy?

weird day

i did nothing all day.

i walked marley & guillermo & got slobber all over me. so bored. today was just so boring i can't say it enough. i ate at noodles & co. that was good. i go to california next week. i can't wait to get out of there for a little while. to see my friends. my family. be with people. i'm such an outsider here in utah. no matter what i still feel like i haven't lived here for 6 months.

i miss the summer time. i miss having friends. whats it like? p.s. evah remembers me from pry on murmers zine #1. that made me feel good. guten tag.

hot chocolate in the morning

i woke up & was cold. we can't use our heater right now

saturday i am going to take over a side table for natalies apartment. its lookin pretty meek over there so i figured i can spice it up with a side table & maybe a painting if i can finish it in time.

lately

so lately i've been doing nothing. because annie is in moab for a week. so i have no work to do, and i dont work at wellsfargo till thursday afternoon. i've been on the computer a lot & watching the news. i've been talking to an old friend who is friendly again. i wish it would snow. i'm making chicken & pasta for dinner tonight. i am going to paint our christmas ornaments for our tree. i'm getting a head start because i know i'll be busy in december.

today i brought anouk over to sams house to see everyone. i had told bryce & chase the other day that anouk was really cool & funny so i wanted to show her off to the guys. yeah. anouk SUCKED. the entire night ended up a total mess. anouk went under the counter and sam, chase dallin & i had to tear apart the floor boards (while bryce watched & ate fries) and do all this crazy nonsense just to get her out. it took about an hour. it was so gross. she is in big trouble. i gave her a bath which she HATES. she clawed my nose trying to get out. she doesn't get any love today. i'm too really furious.

well. i'm hungry & i need a sweater. i also need more blogger friends because i feel like i'm the only one that even blogs and says hi to other people on here now. no one does this anymore. bleh.

coat check

hearing all the european accents made me feel really homesick. my heart aches.

today was a good day turned bad. i woke up to little birds making a winter nest between the vines & my window screen. it was great. i love the little tiny snow birds they make me so happy & i'm happy to know they are going to live outside my window. i miss my family & friends. i am going nuts because i'm being copied so bad that its driving me out of my mind. i just want some lindt chocolate. http://www.lindtusa.com/ all i want. i should probably get the $75 sampler.

sunset

looks so pretty right now. i can see downtown from my window in the fall. because all the leaves fall away and i can see past what was there before. i can see the walker center colors & flashes. right now its flashing blue. which means cloudy. its scattered clouds but clear enough to see a nice sunset.

18 days until we leave for california. i am so excited to see my friends. its going to be great.



audra is sending me a rug for my birthday. YES!

election day

quick funny story. i was outside my apartment & i called up through the window to my cat anouk. & i waited for her. & she popped up in the window & saw me & pushed her head into the screen & meowed all franticly. then she waved her head around meowing the way she does when she wants to see me really bad or cuddle. i was laughing in the driveway/. so when i came through the door she was sitting on the rug like she always is when i walk through the door & she meowed all sweet. she loves her mother so much.

oh, my friend tiffany needs YOUR help. go to her blog and post a comment telling her how many pairs of jeans you own.: tiffany

chopsticks

i eat my pasta with chopsticks. i just prefer it thats all.
i eat pasta too much . almost every day.



i really like how much eli likes me. i mean, waldo the kitty.

tuesday

45° F | 32° F
7° C | 0° C
Snow

80% chance of precipitation


i need to go get my all season tires tomorrow. my dad is in Barcelona tho

pumpkin carving night

so last night i got pumpkins to carve at smiths. here are our finished products:

by me

by chase

my brother

so my brother is in Afghanistan and has been since the beginning of this year. i don't ever hear from him. which sorta sucks. but i've lived with him my whole life and he broke my nose twice so its sorta mixed feelings.

everyone is worried about him being there and such but i'm not at all. hes fine. he will be fine. and i'm not worried at all. he is the biggest jerk i've ever met & he can talk his way out of anything and make anyone his friend. he is a quick thinker & he's been trained well. he always gets his way and wins whatever he does. it sorta sucks playing games with him or anything like that. but, he knows what he's doing and does it well.

the only thing i'm worried about is if he is maintaining his beard.

i'm sick again.

i never get sick. now here i am all contagious & disgusting for the 2nd time in less than a week.

i also bought 3 cardigans 5 shirts & 1 skirt today. which is all stuff that i don't need at all. i need shoes, sweaters & pants. i'm going to just say that being sick confused me? ok

early morning 37

it was 37 degrees outside. not my type of degrees at all.

I'm really hungry. I want an english muffin. One time when I lived in California, Audra wanted an english muffin but forgot what they were called. And she said "I want one of those things you guys always have, I forget what they are called. I think its like, an Irish Bagel or something."

hahahahaha

starbucks

i don't have much to say. besides i stole a garbage bin from the laundry room in my apartment complex. because we needed a garbage bin with a lid because anouk always gets in it (gross) and our other one was growing mold at the bottom, which is also disgusting. so i forgot to go to walmart (ew) last night to get one, but i had already threw out our garbage can before i left. so we really needed one. & my laundry room has 3, and so i figured they could do with out one.

i need to cook more, i haven't cooked anything in a while. i am getting so lazy it sucks. its cold in my house. oh oh i got a really good book called "the guernsey literary & the potato peel pie society"

i'm home

yes yes. i am home. anouk is on my lap & its cold outside.

kansas was quite the adventure. it was a lot of fun, which sounds crazy to say. but really it was a great trip.

Back in the 1860s-1870s my ancestors on my moms side immigrated from fife, scotland to victoria, kansas in hopes of owning their own land & establishing themselves. however, it didn't work out as planned. their family of 10 was cut down to 4, after the mother & 5 of her children fell ill from typhoid & died. their mother passed first in st louis on their way to victoria, & the 5 others fell ill along the way. in victoria another scottish family, the philip's aided & helped the sick kids & the family then later buried them, in unmarked graves that were lost for a time. the youngest son of that family had written a detailed letter to his daughter in much later years because she would be passing through the area. he told of all the misfortunes and hardships from the crossing to victoria. & those letters were given to my grandpa in the 1970s. he was from that point on going to pursue his dream to find the graves of his grandpas family. after 40 years, he & my mom found them. they went to kansas in may to look & found more than they expected. not only did they find the graves, but they found decedents from the philip family that aided my ancestors. they helped so much with filling in history for my grandpa & mom, they knew so much of it. the historical society in hays, kansas (next town over from victoria) helped so much as well. there was a wonderful memorial for my ancestors that was held october 11th at 3pm, & it was a surprising turn out. people showed up to respect not only history but my family. it is an amazing story & i am so glad it turned out as lovely as it did.

my mom is writing a book that will be published about the whole story of the seth clan & her travels and research and basically the whole story of finding our ancestors. everyone that helped her & my grandpa told her she needs to. i can't wait to read the book.

presley mondays

so presley arrived this morning & we ran a little bit of errands. then ginger & the boys came over to play and see the house. we had a lot of fun! we plan to go to the zoo and go to parks and on walks next time. it will be great. presley gets along very good with the boys & anouk gets along too. woohoo! here are a couple photos i captured of this afternoon:

loves the camera

this is my wild cuddly cat anouk, as most of you know.

she is so funny/. i can't even begin to explain. those who have seen the wild side of her don't need that explanation because they've most likely experienced it all first hand. she is getting bigger i can tell. i miss it when she was itty bitty and small. she is still small but dang, she is growing. she hasn't changed much personality wise which i am happy about (so far). but today it was another really worthless day of doing nothing. so i took some photos of her and learned that she LOVES having her photo taken. she was posing for it and everything. she knows she is cute . . . little brat.

this one... i call - The Thinker.

rain

rainy day. i woke up to a freezing cold house. AND i woke up late. but i got everything done. very rushed, but i got it all done before 8. but presley never showed up at my door. so i'm pretty bummed. i don't know why she isn't here. natalies phone is turned off. but oh well.

i'm using my heater for the 2nd time since living here. when we first moved in i used it for a bit. my house is really clean, i cleaned it all up yesterday. so its nice to be all cozy in here. i just wish our computer desk was installed so i could do a puzzle on the dining room table. but the computer is here. i've really done nothing today. i ate too much. i watched really bad tv & sat on the computer internet shopping, but didn't buy anything. i work 5-8 tonight setting up for tomorrows event. which takes place at 5 in the morning. AH! but i only work till 11. which is better than working 6:30 to 3:30 like the other day.

6:30 - 3:30

yeah. i worked that long...


my feet hurt. my head hurts. my back hurts.

we had so much to do today. not to mention we stayed a bit later to set up for american idol. american idol needs to stop. seriously. how many "idols" do we need... this is the 29385 season. STOP! we are done with it!

oh oh! we got our new couch cover today. i also got a fall puzzle in the mail from my momma. she is so nice. my mom is great. i wish she'd come to visit.

body worlds & kansas

so on sep. 19 the body worlds exhibit opens. it stays open till jan 10. but i wan't to go now! i've waited too long to see this. it was in santa barbra once i think in cali. (among other places too) and i really wanted to go but it didn't work out. so now that its right downtown on 209 E & 500 S i can be there by walking even. my mom's friends back home in california told me about plastination about a year or so ago & ever since i've been intrigued by this.

i want to go. anyone else? let me know lets make it a fun trip.

so about kansas... i'll be heading there october 9th with my family until the 12th. my great ancestors from scotland ended up there when they were trying to come out to california a REALLY long time ago. my mom & grandpa went out there a couple months ago & found their graves and info about them. so we are going out there & the mayor wants to speak and have a big ceremony for some reason. we are also looking for this chair that was in our family too. i guess its like a big deal. i don't know much about it. but it sounds cool & its a family vacation thats paid for. plus i've never been to kansas. the town we are going to is quite literally the exact center of the united states. its so weird. i'm pretty nervous because kansas is in tornado ally. and i'm a fan of tornadoes. so lets hope i see one.

a week off

this week, i have it off. its kinda nice, but i have nothing that i need to get done. except wednesday, my boss from wells fargo just text me asking if i could work at 6:30 in the morning until 3 in the afternoon. i said yes. because i need the moneys & because i know i will be doing nothing if i didn't work.

i really don't like doing nothing. is that weird or normal? i like to be doing things and being productive. theo & mary janes family went on a river trip in moab this week, so i don't get to see them until next tuesday. i was supposed to watch Pres this morning but nat is sicky-ish so i'll start watching pres next monday instead.

i was thinking of walking to the bank today to deposit 25 dollars. i need to walk more, so since i live in a place were there are sidewalks i'm going to try taking advantage of it while its cool out but not snowy or rainy yet. i also want to check out the library sometime this week. maybe today. maybe tomorrow. i can't do much else because i can't spend money. i also am going to walk down south temple to a mailbox to send of some letters & goodies. i love that i live a block over from south temple. all the huge houses & old buildings. its a nice street.

autumn treats

here are 3 little gifts being sent off today...

one for the payne family

one for stephanie

& one for JOE!

the little treats i baked up last night. sour cream apple bars. i couldn't eat them all myself, so i decided they would be for joe's birthday gift. -his birthday was yesterday- after i gave joe a lot in his gift, there were quite a bit left over. again i couldn't eat even the left overs by myself so i divided up the rest & packaged them up for two other gifts. & all i have left are these three pieces. THOSE i can eat by my self... easy.

Autumn

i love this season. the crisp mornings. the changing colors. warm food. & the cozy clothes.

autumn however, is best spent in Apple Hill. also known as... my hometown of Camino, CA.

my house is located smack dab in the middle of it all. there are farms & orchards literally 1 minute away from the camino house. fresh picked apples in the yard, freshly pressed cider. APPLE PIES. apple raviolis... i'll have to get the recipe for that. its a secret.

carmel apples & sweets. driving 2 minutes to boa vista for pumpkins.

apple hill easily has the best fruits & veggies ever. i grew up luck. i never realized how perfect all of our fruits & veggies were until i moved.

our ranch is called the Chestnut Ridge Ranch. we sell chestnuts, the biggest ones in the area probably. we have a lot & people love them. we sell plums when they grow too. & we are also a christmas tree farm but we only have baby trees so far. it'll take a while for those to get big enough to be sent off into the living rooms of families.

during fall i always want to do puzzles. autumn themed puzzles. we have a couple at my house in california but i have none here. i think i'll have to order some. i'm also going to make my grandmas shortbread & hopefully get the top secret recipe for apple ravioli. it is the best thing ever. i can't wait to carve pumpkins & do little fall things. halloween is soonish & i think i am going to be mother earth for halloween. maaaaybe. my birthday is october 4th. october is a great month. i love fall, because i'm a fall baby.

i'm excited & nervous for colder weather. because cold weather to me is just 38 when it snows (sometimes) in camino. i get freezing when its 50. but here in utah it gets really cold... & as most know i do not own "warm" clothes. at all. i don't even own shoes for cold weather. i only have my moccasins. i'll have to start getting clothes now.

here are the sierra nevadas in fall. oh i miss them sooo much. i'm a bit homesick. i think its because its fall. & i love my hometown in the fall. it feels so cozy & fall is like the ultimate time to be with your family. did i already say i love fall? sheesh.

fuzzy snuggles

she woke me up this morning because she wanted to snuggle on my face. she was walking all over me & laying on my face so i had to give in and snuggle for a little bit. she is getting used to car rides. this morning we drove to Java Jo's to get the best ever 1shot Ivory Mocha, and anouk was riding on my lap (other times she burrows under my seats) but she really wanted to say hello to everyone today so she poked her head our of my sweater to say hello to the girl at the window & the girl melted when she saw anouk -how could you not?- and i explained to the girl that anouk travels everywhere with me & she thought it was the cutest thing. i don't like leaving anouk alone, because i'm afraid shes too small to be left alone & i'm nervous i'm going to come home to her being stuck someplace.

Anouk Sel Dean

thats her full name.

she is SO funny. & snuggly.

this afternoon she passed out snuggled against my face with her paws on my neck.
she likes me a lot. she also likes to stare at herself in the mirror. she is so small...
i am waiting to post up photos because all of mine have been weird & fuzzy so far/.

eli

i just found this photo of eli. he is great.

what are the boys middle names?

Albion Camping

it was a really nice time. wilderness. me & stephanie ate our weights worth in smores. i was managing the campfire the whole time because it kept dying so i'd run off and find things to put in it. it was my job the whole time. i was walking around searching for things in the dark.